Synopsis
Includes:
Married... With Children: Pilot (1987)
Married... With Children: Buck Can Do It (1987)
Married... With Children: Married... Without Children (1987)
Married... With Children: Have You Driven a Ford Lately (1987)
Married... With Children: Thinergy (1987)
Married... With Children: Sixteen Years and What Do You Get? (1987)
Married... With Children: But I Didn't Shoot the Deputy (1987)
Married... With Children: Whose Room Is It Anyway? (1987)
Married... With Children: Al Loses His Cherry (1987)
Married... With Children: Peggy Sue Got Work (1987)
Married... With Children: Nightmare on Al's Street (1987)
Married... With Children: Poppy's By the Tree, Part 2 (1987)
Married... With Children: You Better Watch Out (1987)
Married... With Children: The Poker Game (1987)
Married... With Children: Poppy's By the Tree, Part 1 (1987)
Married... With Children: If I Were a Rich Man (1987)
Married... With Children: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, Part 1 (1987)
Married... With Children: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, Part 2 (1987)
Married... With Children: Born to Walk (1987)
Married... With Children: The Razor's Edge (1987)
Married... With Children: Where's the Boss? (1987)
Married... With Children: Johnny Be Gone (1987)
Married... With Children: Earth Angel (1987)
Married... With Children: How Do You Spell Revenge? (1987)
Married... With Children: Alley of the Dolls (1987)
Married... With Children: For Whom the Bell Tolls (1987)
Married... With Children: Peggy Loves Al, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah (1988)
Married... With Children: The Great Escape (1988)
Married... With Children: Just Married... With Children (1988)
Married... With Children: Father Lode (1988)
Married... With Children: The Camping Show (1988)
Married... With Children: Poke High (1988)
Married... With Children: Guys and Dolls (1988)
Married... With Children: He Thought He Could (1988)
Married... With Children: All in the Family (1988)
Married... With Children: Impo-Dent (1988)
Married... With Children: Master the Possibilities (1988)
Married... With Children: Build a Better Mousetrap (1988)
Married... With Children: I'm Goin' to Sweatland (1988)
Married... With Children: I'll See You in Court (1989)
Married... With Children: The Harder They Fall (1989)
Married... With Children: It's a Bundyful Life, Part 1 (1989)
Married... With Children: A Dump of My Own (1989)
Married... With Children: Hot Off the Grill (1989)
Married... With Children: Buck Saves the Day (1989)
Married... With Children: He Ain't Much, But He's Mine (1989)
Married... With Children: Oh, What a Feeling (1989)
Married... With Children: At the Zoo (1989)
Married... With Children: Requiem for a Dead Barber (1989)
Married... With Children: My Mom, the Mom (1989)
Married... With Children: The House That Peg Lost (1989)
Married... With Children: Married... With Queen (1989)
Married... With Children: Married... With Queen - The Sequel (1989)
Married... With Children: Fair Exchange (1989)
Married... With Children: The Dateless Amigo (1989)
Married... With Children: Life's a Beach (1989)
Married... With Children: Here's Lookin' at You, Kid (1989)
Married... With Children: It's a Bundyful Life, Part 2 (1989)
Married... With Children: 976-Shoe (1989)
Married... With Children: Desperately Seeking Miss October (1989)
Married... With Children: Dead Men Don't Do Aerobics (1989)
Married... With Children: The Computer Show (1989)
Married... With Children: A Three Job, No Income Family (1989)
Married... With Children: Can't Dance, Don't Ask Me (1989)
Married... With Children: Eatin' Out (1989)
Married... With Children: Tooth or Consequences (1989)
Married... With Children: The Gypsy Cried (1989)
Married... With Children: The Bald and the Beautiful (1989)
Married... With Children: Her Cups Runneth Over (1989)
Married... With Children: Do Ya Think I'm Sexy (1990)
Married... With Children: And Baby Makes Money (1990)
Married... With Children: Kelly Bounces Back (1990)
Married... With Children: You Gotta Know When to Fold 'Em, Part 1 (1990)
Married... With Children: Rock and Roll Girl (1990)
Married... With Children: A Taxing Problem (1990)
Married... With Children: One Down, Two to Go (1990)
Married... With Children: Who'll Stop the Rain? (1990)
Married... With Children: Peggy Made a Little Lamb (1990)
Married... With Children: Rain Girl (1990)
Married... With Children: Yard Sale (1990)
Married... With Children: Al... with Kelly (1990)
Married... With Children: Sue Casa, His Casa (1990)
Married... With Children: The Unnatural (1990)
Married... With Children: You Gotta Know When to Fold 'Em, Part 2 (1990)
Married... With Children: Peggy Turns 300 (1990)
Married... With Children: We'll Follow the Sun (1990)
Married... With Children: The Agony of De Feet (1990)
Married... With Children: What Goes Around Came Around (1990)
Married... With Children: The Dance Show (1990)
Married... With Children: Wabbit Season (1990)
Married... With Children: Married... with Aliens (1990)
Married... With Children: You Better Shop Around, Part 1 (1991)
Married... With Children: Weenie Tot Lovers & Other Strangers (1991)
Married... With Children: Al Bundy, Shoe Dick (1991)
Married... With Children: I Who Have Nothing (1991)
Married... With Children: If Al Had a Hammer (1991)
Married... With Children: Kelly Does Hollywood, Part 1 (1991)
Married... With Children: Oldies But Young 'Uns (1991)
Married... With Children: All Night Security Dude (1991)
Married... With Children: Buck the Stud (1991)
Married... With Children: Kids! Wadaya Gonna Do? (1991)
Married... With Children: Top of the Heap (1991)
Married... With Children: Route 666, Part 1 (1991)
Married... With Children: Route 666, Part 2 (1991)
Married... With Children: If I Could See Me Now (1991)
Married... With Children: Buck Has a Belly Ache (1991)
Married... With Children: Looking for a Desk in All the Wrong Places (1991)
Married... With Children: Cheese, Cues and Blood (1991)
Married... With Children: She's Having My Baby, Part 2 (1991)
Married... With Children: She's Having My Baby, Part 1 (1991)
Married... With Children: So This Is How Sinatra Felt (1991)
Married... With Children: Kelly Does Hollywood, Part 2 (1991)
Married... With Children: God's Shoes (1991)
Married... With Children: Married... with Who? (1991)
Married... With Children: Look Who's Barking (1991)
Married... With Children: The Godfather (1991)
Married... With Children: A Man's Castle (1991)
Married... With Children: You Better Shop Around, Part 2 (1991)
Married... With Children: Dinner with Anthrax (1992)
Married... With Children: The Old College Try (1992)
Married... With Children: Rites of Passage (1992)
Married... With Children: Just Shoe It (1992)
Married... With Children: The Egg and I (1992)
Married... With Children: Kelly Doesn't Live Here Anyone (1992)
Married... With Children: T-R-A. . .Something, Something Spells Tramp (1992)
Married... With Children: Magnificent Seven (1992)
Married... With Children: England Show, Part 3 (1992)
Married... With Children: Christmas (1992)
Married... With Children: Psychic Avengers (1992)
Married... With Children: Hi I.Q. (1992)
Married... With Children: Teacher Pets (1992)
Married... With Children: The Gas Station Show (1992)
Married... With Children: England Show, Part 1 (1992)
Married... With Children: Al on the Rocks (1992)
Married... With Children: What I Did For Love (1992)
Married... With Children: Frat Chance (1992)
Married... With Children: Death of a Shoe Salesman (1992)
Married... With Children: Rock of Ages (1992)
Married... With Children: The Chicago Wine Party (1992)
Married... With Children: Every Bundy Has a Birthday (1992)
Married... With Children: The Good-Bye Girl (1992)
Married... With Children: The Mystery of Skull Island (1992)
Married... With Children: England Show, Part 2 (1992)
Married... With Children: Just a Little Off the Top (1993)
Married... With Children: Peggy and the Pirates (1993)
Married... With Children: Take My Wife, Please (1993)
Married... With Children: Wedding Show (1993)
Married... With Children: It Doesn't Get Any Better Than This (1993)
Married... With Children: Banking on Marcy (1993)
Married... With Children: Change for a Buck (1993)
Married... With Children: Luck of the Bundys (1993)
Married... With Children: Proud to Be Your Bud (1993)
Married... With Children: Hood in the Boyz (1993)
Married... With Children: A Tisket, a Tasket, Can Peggy Make a Basket? (1993)
Married... With Children: The Proposition (1993)
Married... With Children: Wedding Repercussions (1993)
Married... With Children: Dancing with Weezie (1993)
Married... With Children: NO MA'AM (1993)
Married... With Children: Scared Single (1993)
Married... With Children: You Can't Miss (1993)
Married... With Children: Mr. Empty Pants (1993)
Married... With Children: Heels on Wheels (1993)
Married... With Children: The Old Insurance Dodge (1993)
Married... With Children: 'Tis Time to Smell the Roses (1993)
Married... With Children: Till Death Do Us Part (1993)
Married... With Children: Movie Show (1993)
Married... With Children: Unalful Entry (1993)
Married... With Children: Go for the Old (1993)
Married... With Children: The Worst Noel (1993)
Married... With Children: Field of Screams (1994)
Married... With Children: The D'Arcy Files (1994)
Married... With Children: Nooner or Nothing (1994)
Married... With Children: Ride Scare (1994)
Married... With Children: Legend of Ironhead Haynes (1994)
Married... With Children: Sofa So Good (1994)
Married... With Children: Honey, I Blew Up Myself (1994)
Married... With Children: How Green Was My Apple (1994)
Married... With Children: Valentine's Day Massacre (1994)
Married... With Children: Dial B for Virgin (1994)
Married... With Children: Sleepless in Chicago (1994)
Married... With Children: No Pot to Pease In (1994)
Married... With Children: Assault and Batteries (1994)
Married... With Children: Al Goes Deep (1994)
Married... With Children: Dud Bowl (1994)
Married... With Children: A Man For No Seasons (1994)
Married... With Children: I Want My Psycho Dad (1994)
Married... With Children: I Want My Psycho Dad, Second Blood (1994)
Married... With Children: Get Outta Dodge (1994)
Married... With Children: Kelly Knows Something (1994)
Married... With Children: Shoeway to Heaven (1994)
Married... With Children: Driving Mr. Boondy (1994)
Married... With Children: Kelly Breaks Out (1994)
Married... With Children: Naughty But Niece (1994)
Married... With Children: Business Sucks (1994)
Married... With Children: Business Still Sucks (1994)
Married... With Children: Guess Who's Coming to Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner (1995)
Married... With Children: Get the Dodge Outta Hell (1995)
Married... With Children: Ship Happens, Part 2 (1995)
Married... With Children: Something Larry This Way Comes (1995)
Married... With Children: And Bingo Was Her Game-O (1995)
Married... With Children: Love Conquers Al (1995)
Married... With Children: Bearly Men (1995)
Married... With Children: Dud Bowl II (1995)
Married... With Children: The Two That Got Away (1995)
Married... With Children: Blonde and Blonder (1995)
Married... With Children: Flight of the Bumblebee (1995)
Married... With Children: Shoeless Al (1995)
Married... With Children: Requiem for a Dead Briard (1995)
Married... With Children: 25 Years and What Have You Got? (1995)
Married... With Children: I Can't Believe It's Butter (1995)
Married... With Children: Radio Free Trumaine (1995)
Married... With Children: Ship Happens, Part 1 (1995)
Married... With Children: The Naked and the Dead, but Mostly the Naked (1995)
Married... With Children: A Shoe Room With a View (1995)
Married... With Children: Reverend Al (1995)
Married... With Children: How Bleen Was My Kelly (1995)
Married... With Children: The Weaker Sex (1995)
Married... With Children: Pump Fiction (1995)
Married... With Children: User Friendly (1995)
Married... With Children: Kelly Takes a Shot (1995)
Married... With Children: The Undergraduate (1995)
Married... With Children: Bud Hits the Books (1996)
Married... With Children: Enemies (1996)
Married... With Children: Al Goes to the Dogs (1996)
Married... With Children: God Help Ye, Merry Bundymen (1996)
Married... With Children: The Juggs Have Left the Building (1996)
Married... With Children: A Bundy Thanksgiving (1996)
Married... With Children: Requiem for a Chevyweight, Part 2 (1996)
Married... With Children: Requiem for a Chevyweight, Part 1 (1996)
Married... With Children: Turning Japanese (1996)
Married... With Children: Spring Break, Part 2 (1996)
Married... With Children: The Hood, The Bud and the Kelly, Part 1 (1996)
Married... With Children: Kelly's Gotta Habit (1996)
Married... With Children: Children of the Corns (1996)
Married... With Children: Crimes Against Obesity (1996)
Married... With Children: Twisted (1996)
Married... With Children: The Joke's On Al (1996)
Married... With Children: Torch Song Duet (1996)
Married... With Children: Kiss of the Coffee Woman (1996)
Married... With Children: Spring Break, Part 1 (1996)
Married... With Children: The Agony and the Extra C (1996)
Married... With Children: Calendar Girl (1996)
Married... With Children: The Hood, The Bud and the Kelly, Part 2 (1996)
Married... With Children: Grime and Punishment (1997)
Married... With Children: Breaking Up Is Easy to Do, Part 2 (1997)
Married... With Children: The Stepford Peg (1997)
Married... With Children: How to Marry a Moron (1997)
Married... With Children: 'Lez Be Friends (1997)
Married... With Children: The Desperate Half-Hour (1997)
Married... With Children: Breaking Up Is Easy to Do, Part 3 (1997)
Married... With Children: T*R*A*S*H (1997)
Married... With Children: Damn Bundys (1997)
Married... With Children: Birthday Boy Toy (1997)
Married... With Children: A Babe in Toyland (1997)
Married... With Children: Live Nude Peg (1997)
Married... With Children: Breaking Up Is Easy to Do, Part 1 (1997)
Married... With Children: Chicago Shoe Exchange (1997)
Married... With Children: Bud on the Side (1997)
Married... With Children: Pilot
April 5, 1987, was the historic day upon which the Fox network launched its first prime-time lineup with the highly controversial -- and incredibly successful -- situation comedy Married... With Children. The pilot episode wastes no time introducing the delightfully dysfunctional Bundy family of Chicago: Boorish shoe salesman Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill), his lazy, sex-obsessed wife Peg (Katey Sagal), and their worthless children, underachieving 11-year-old Bud (David Faustino) and promiscuous 15-year-old Kelly (Christina Applegate). In the opener, Peg insists that Al try to make friends with the Bundys' new next-door neighbors, simperingly sweet newlyweds Steve and Marcy Rhodes (David Garrison, Amanda Bearse) -- and in the process nearly destroy the young couple's marriage before it gets into first gear. Also on hand is Al's swinging-bachelor co-worker Luke Ventura (Ritch Shydner). ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Buck Can Do It
The Bundys' neighbors are incensed by the "stupid, ugly puppies" that have popped up over the past several months. The blame for this phenomenon is placed on the Bundy's dog Buck, aka "The Carnal Tresspasser." Amidst demands that he neuter the dog, Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill) has a surreal dream in which Buck assumes human form. Christina Applegate (Kelly Bundy) does not appear in this episode, the first to be taped for the series' second season (though not the first to be shown). ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Married... Without Children
Peg (Katey Sagal) and Al (Ed O'Neill) plan a weekend getaway without the kids. Of course, this plan requires that Bundys dump their offspring Kelly (Christina Applegate) and Bud (David Faustino) upon some unwitting suckers -- er, baby sitters. Steve (David Garrison) and Marcy (Amanda Bearse) are chosen for this "honor," and they soon grow to regret their decision to invite the Bundy kids into their home. Depending upon which version of this episode one sees (original network print, syndicated print, DVD copy), the soundtrack features two songs by the Beastie Boys -- not to mention a tantalizing reference to Vanna White. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Have You Driven a Ford Lately
Al (Ed O'Neill) and Steve (David Garrison) finally see eye to eye on something when both men set about to restore a classic 1965 Ford Mustang. This "bonding" moment carries over to wives Peg (Katey Sagal) and Marcy (Amanda Bearse), who find themselves united in their hatred for the Mustang project -- and by extension, their husbands. Tonight's best moment is the aural and visual reference to Easy Rider. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Thinergy
Marcy (Amanda Bearse) lends Peg (Katey Sagal) a new dieting book called "Thinnergy." Figuring that the book's regimen will improve her sex life -- which has been in dire need of improvement for nearly 16 years -- Peg embarks upon the prescribed diet, but not without demanding that her husband Al (Ed O'Neill) join her. Before long, Al is all but begging Peg to give up the program before they kill each other. This episode finds Peg singing three songs -- you've been warned. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Sixteen Years and What Do You Get?
Though they agreed not to exchange gifts for their 16th wedding anniversary, Al (Ed O'Neill) and Peg (Katey Sagal) have characteristically lied to one another. Comes the big day, however, and it looks like Al has forgotten. Actually, Al wanted to buy Peg a present, only to find that his credit card was maxed out -- and wonder or wonders, it's not his fault this time. This is the episode in which the Bundys reveal that "their song" is Edwin Starr's "War." ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: But I Didn't Shoot the Deputy
A burglar invades the neighborhood, and both the Bundys and the Rhodes rush out to purchase some protection. While Al (Ed O'Neill) and Peg (Katey Sagal) buy a gun, Steve (David Garrison) and Marcy (Amanda Bearse) acquire a dog named Bela (as in "Abzug," not "Lugosi"). A few evenings later, both couples are aroused by strange noises. Al fires his weapon -- and Bela bites the big one! ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Whose Room Is It Anyway?
Steve (David Garrison) and Marcy (Amanda Bearse) plan to use their tax refund by adding a room to their house. In short order, Al (Ed O'Neill) and Peg (Katey Sagal) plan to take advantage of both their neighbors and the new room. That's why Al lobbies Steve to build a poolroom, while Peg tries to talk Marcy into constructing a spa. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Al Loses His Cherry
To avoid a fight with Peg (Katey Sagal), Al (Ed O'Neill) takes refuge in the home of his fellow shoe store employee, swingin' bachelor Luke Ventura (Ritch Shydner in his final series appearance). Before long, the boys are paid a visit by a brace of gorgeous stewardesses, the Cherry sisters. Will Al succumb to temptation and have a one-night stand with sexy Terry Cherry (played by supermodel Jerry Hall)? And will the audience be able to withstand the horror of Al and Luke's singing? ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Peggy Sue Got Work
Peg (Katey Sagal) wants a VCR, but Al (Ed O'Neill) won't pony up the necessary money. In a snit, Peg decides to earn the dough herself by landing a job behind the clock counter at Muldin's Department Store. Predictably, the customers suffer -- but not so much as Al, who complains that all the fun has gone out of his marriage now that Peg can pay her own way. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Nightmare on Al's Street
Hell has frozen over and pigs are flying! Well, not really, but it's the same thing when Al (Ed O'Neill) begins showing up in Marcy's bedroom Actually, while her husband Steve (David Garrison) is away, Marcy (Amanda Bearse) has been having erotic nightmares in which Al is the central figure. Unable to figure out why this is happening, Marcy turns to Al's wife Peg (Katey Sagal) for advice--and a "cure". This episode answers the question as to why the Chicago Cubs haven't won a World Series since the dawn of recorded time. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Poppy's By the Tree, Part 2
In the conclusion of Married. . .With Children's two-part Season Two opener (originally telecast in a single one-hour slot), the Bundy family's "vacation from Hell" in Dumpwater Florida gets worse thanks to a pesky axe murderer. Inevitably, the killer kidnaps Peg (Katey Sagal), who pleads for her life by promising to do her captor's housework (How desperate can you get?) Meanwhile, the rest of the family formulates a rescue plan. . .sort of. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: You Better Watch Out
We know what we're in for when the episode begins with a disclaimer: "The following depicts a Bundy Christmas. It could be upsetting to small children and others. Parental guidance is suggested." Every Christmas Eve, Santa Claus parachutes into the Lakeside Shopping Mail. This year, however, the chute fails and Santa crashlands onto the Bundy's yard--dead as a doornail. Now Al must temporarily take over Santa's duties, which he does with his customary grace and tact. Featured as a snotty kid named Nestor is Michael Faustino, brother of series regular David Faustino). ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Poker Game
Emboldened by what he thinks is the right "rhythm", uptight Steve (David Garrison) joins Al (Ed O'Neill) and his buddies for poker night. At game's end, a sweaty Steve emerges the loser, giving up his entire paycheck. Knowing what horrible fate is in store for him if Marcy (Amanda Bearse) finds out, Steve begs Peg (Katey Sagal) to persuade Al to give the money back. Former Saturday Night Live regular Garrett Morris appears as Russ. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Poppy's By the Tree, Part 1
Married. . .With Children launches its second season with the series' first two-part episode (originally networkcast in a single hour-long timeslot). "Borrowing" their neighbors' car, the Bundy family embarks upon a vacation, ending up in a sleazy hotel in Dumpwater, Florida. The town happens to be famous for two things: It's the home of "the man who shook the hand of Andy Griffith", and also the home of a brutal axe murderer who strikes every five years--and specializes in hacking up tourists. As the locals place bets as to who will be the killer's next victims, guess which family strolls into the scene? (Aw, you guessed.) ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: If I Were a Rich Man
Panic grips the bank where Steve (David Garrison) works when the vault comes up a million dollars short. The Bundy family assumes that their patriarch Al (Ed O'Neill) has snatched the dough during a nocturnal visit to the vault (where he played cards with Steve)--and accordingly, Peg (Katey Sagal) and the kids treat Al like a hero. Basking in all this attention, Al begins to wish that he really was a thief. . .but if that were the case, Season Two of Married. . .With Children would have been over and done with after only three episodes. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, Part 1
In the first episode of a two-part story (originally telecast in a single hour-long slot), Marcy (Amanda Bearse) leaves home in a huff after a fight with husband Steve (David Garrison). Hoping to cheer Marcy up, freewheeling Peg (Katey Sagal) takes her uptight neighbor to Troy's, a male strip club. Whilst dancing the night away with a stripper named Zorro (Billy Hufsey), Marcy drops a generous tip into Zorro's pants--and loses her wedding ring in the process! ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, Part 2
In the conclusion of a two-part story (originally telecast as a single hour-long entry), Marcy (Amanda Bearse) despairs over the loss of her wedding ring, which she lost while tipping a male stripper named Zorro (Billy Hufsey) at Troy's strip club. Meanwhile, Zorro shows up at the doorstep of Marcy's neighbor Al (Ed O'Neill) to return the ring. As a result, Al and Marcy's husband Steve (David Garrison) conspire to lay an enormous guilt trip on both their wives--after all, it was Al's spouse Peg (Katey Sagal) who apparently led Marcy astray. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Born to Walk
This episode's title notwithstanding, Bruce Springsteen does not appear, either walking or running. It all begins with Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill) down in the dumps after he fails the written part of his driver's license renewal. At the same time, Al's daughter Kelly (Christina Applegate) gets her first license. Will Al swallow his masculine pride and allow his novice-driver daughter to chauffeur him around? Well, if he doesn't, he'll never make it to racetrack in time for that "sure thing." ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Razor's Edge
Returning from a river-rafting trip, ultraconservative Steve (David Garrison) now sports a beard which he loves, but his wife Marcy (Amanda Bearse). When she demands he shave off the bear, he refuses, and a battle royal ensues. Retreating from the fracas, Steve moves in with the Bundys, who are delighted by his new hirsute "look"--but things soon go sour, as they always do. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Where's the Boss?
Al (Ed O'Neill) is wrong when he jumps to the conclusion that his never-seen boss Gary (Geoffrey Scott) has died, but he is right on the money when he concludes that Gary has gone out of his way to avoid him. His gorge rising, Al demands that his boss acknowledge his existence--or he'll quit. The role of Ed is played by veteran character actor Lewis Arquette, the father of actresses Rosanna Arquette and Patricia Arquette. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Johnny Be Gone
"You can watch reruns or you can watch Fox" blared the original ads for this, the final episode of Married. . .With Children's first season (ironically, you'd be watching reruns on Fox one week later). The plot is set in motion when Al and Peg learn that their favorite hamburger joint, Johnny B. Goods, is soon to close its doors for good. As the Bundy try to attend the restaurant's last night, they are constantly delayed by the misadventures of their children--and their anxiety spills over to their next-door neighbors Steve (David Garrison) and Marcy (Amanda Bearse), who are planning to throw a party for some VIPs. (This is one of the series' two episodes to be taped in a single, long, continuous "scene"). ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Earth Angel
12-year-old Bud Bundy (David Faustino) undergoes an astonishing personality change when he falls in love with a 21-year-old art student named Tiffany (Dawn Merrick). Before long, Tiffany has moved in with the Bundys, charming one and all--except neighbor Marcy (Amanda Bearse), who has ample reason to hate the girl's guts. This episode marks one of the few times that any classical music is ever heard on Married. . .With Children. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: How Do You Spell Revenge?
This week, Kelly Bundy's boyfriend is a jerk named Brian (Kris Kamm), who demands that she prove his love by getting a tattoo. Meanwhile, Kelly's dad Al (Ed O'Neill) insists that his wife Peg (Katey Sagal) improve her softball skills, lest she be dumped from his team. These two plot strands will ultimately converge as Peggy and Kelly (Christina Applegate) wreak vengeance upon the men in their lives. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Alley of the Dolls
Deborah Harmon appears as Mimi, who'd been the high school arch-rival of Peg Bundy (Katey Sagal). Time has passed, but the two ladies still detest each other, a fact which leads to Peg challenging Mimi to a "duel" in the local bowling alley. Unfortunately, the Bundy bowling team comes up short thanks to the improvidence of son Bud (David Faustino)--but never fear, Steve Rhodes (David Garrison) is on hand as the family's "honorary" son. This is the first episode to feature the infamous "Bundy Cheer." ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: For Whom the Bell Tolls
Al (Ed O'Neill) gets into an argument with the phone company when he's billed for a call he didn't make. In consequence, Al's phone service is cut off, and his family is mighty sore at him. This anger spreads out to the rest of the neighborhood when Al takes it upon himself to rail against an annoying electric light just outside the Bundy residence. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Peggy Loves Al, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
Valentines' Day means many things to many people: promiscuous Kelly Bundy (Christina Applegate) is swamped with Valentine cards, her nerdish brother Bud (David Faustino) is anxiously awaiting his first-ever card, and next-door neighbor Marcy Rhodes (Amanda Bearse) receives a trip to Hawaii from hubby Steve (David Garrison) as a first-anniversary gift. Meanwhile, Peg Bundy (Katey Sagal) wants only one, very simple Valentine's present: the words "I love you" from her boorish husband Al (Ed O'Neill). This is the famous "interactive" episode, in which viewers were invited to call in their votes as to whether or not Al should say, "I love you, Peg" or "Not tonight, Peg" (two 900 phone numbers were given out, with viewers paying 50 cents per call, the proceeds going to the American Heart Association). As originally telecast, the results of the voting were not revealed until one hour after Married... With Children signed off, during a telecast of another Fox sitcom, Duet -- and contrary to popular belief, only one version of the episode's finale was taped, rather than two alternates. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Great Escape
While their house is being fumigated for termites, the Bundys move into the shoe store where dad Al (Ed O'Neill) works. This relocation may prove to be a boon to daughter Kelly (Christina Applegate), who is planning to escape her family and attend a rock concert despite being grounded. Though series regulars David Garrison and Amanda Bearse (Steve and Marcy Rhodes) do not appear, we are given ample glimpses at the guest stars, former Playboy centerfolds Teri Weigel and Hope-Marie Carlton. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Just Married... With Children
Rummaging through their neighbors' mail, Al (Ed O'Neill) and Peg (Katey Sagal) come across an invitation for Steve (David Garrison) and Marcy (Amanda Bearse) to appear on "How Do I Love Thee?," a TV game show for newlyweds. Posing as Steve and Marcy, Al and Peg attend the show's taping, where they learn that the object of the game is for the husband to endure as much pain and humiliation as possible. But the "fun" doesn't really begin until the real Steve and Marcy show up on the same program. (Trivia alert: one of the other contestants is played by Catherine Rusoff, the wife of series star Ed O'Neill.) ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Father Lode
Al (Ed O'Neill) scores a big win at the race track, but he may not be able to enjoy it. Fully aware that Peg (Katey Sagal) will demand her share of the money (and then some), Al keeps his winnings a secret from his wife. But it's all for naught when Peg raids Al's wallet, and...well, figure the rest out for yourself. Former Playboy centerfold Teri Weigel appears as Jade. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Camping Show
In this history-making episode, Al (Ed O'Neill), Steve (David Garrison), and Bud (David Faustino) are given ample reason to regret their decision to invite Peg (Katey Sagal), Marcy (Amanda Bearse), and Kelly (Christina Applegate) along on a fishing trip in the woods. The weekend is ruined when all three ladies simultaneously have their periods! Listen for the reference to series star Ed O'Neill's first film Deliverance. Intended as the third-season opener, "A Period Piece" became a nationwide cause celebre when its subject matter ran afoul of the Fox network censors. Ultimately, however, the episode was telecast more and less intact, though its title was changed to "The Camping Show" (a pointless gesture, in that the series' episode titles were never shown onscreen) and it was aired one hour later than its usual 8:30 p.m. time slot. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Poke High
Two of the football scoring records at James K. Polk High are currently held by alumnus Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill)--and his daughter Kelly (Christina Applegate). Now, however, these records are being challenged by up-and-coming gridiron flash Matt (Beau Dremann), who happens to be Kelly's latest boyfriend. This particular episode was the highest-rated single Fox network program to date. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Guys and Dolls
Steve (David Garrison) thinks he's scored a collector's coup when he trades his wife Marcy's 20-year-old Barbie doll for a pair of classic baseball cards. But Marcy (Amanda Bearse) is sorely displeased: she'd hoped to hand Barbie down to her own daughter, assuming that she ever has her own daughter. When the store that purchased the doll is robbed, Steve and Al (Ed O'Neill) must pound the pavements and interview every bum in Chicago to retrieve the valuable plaything. If you miss the references to Gilligan's Island and The Addams Family in this episode, it's because you're tuned to another channel. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: He Thought He Could
Season Three of Married. . .With Children begins as a nervous Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill) screws up enough courage to return a library copy of The Little Engine That Could--which he borrowed in 1957. Al is shocked to find the library desk staffed by the same overweight woman (Lu Leonard) who terrorized him in childhood. Evidently little Al left quite an impression with the librarian as well: When he returns to the desk, she remembers him as "the devil boy!" A young Edan Gross is seen as the youthful Al Bundy. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: All in the Family
Season two of Married... With Children comes to a riotous end when the Bundy household is invaded by Peg's (Katey Sagal) hillbilly cousins from Wanker County. In addition to suffering the shock of seeing his mother-in-law naked, Al (Ed O'Neill) also causes dissension amongst Peg's three singing aunts (played by the Del Rubio triplets). Then there's the ongoing feud between Uncles Irwin and Otto, portrayed by pro wrestlers Christopher Pallies -- aka "King Kong" Bundy -- and James "Gypsy" Haake. Fabled female impersonator Divine was to have played Otto, but he died just before taping: this episode is dedicated to his memory. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Impo-Dent
Marcy (Amanda Bearse) accidentally puts a dent in her husband Steve's precious Mercedes. To get even, Steve (David Garrison) feigns impotence, claiming that his condition has been brought about by Marcy's bad driving. As a result, Marcy is forced to wait on her husband hand and foot -- but salvation (and revenge) are close at hand. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Master the Possibilities
A computer glitch results in a pre-approved credit card for Buck, the Bundy family's dog. Reasoning that they aren't really purchasing anything if they aren't using their real names, the Bundys go on an insane shopping spree with the errant card, purchasing everything from foot-long cigars to hot tubs. Christina Applegate (Kelly Bundy) does not appear in this episode, leaving plenty of space for Bud Bundy (David Faustino) to accumulate an unprecedented two girlfriends at the same time! ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Build a Better Mousetrap
It's "mano y mouso" when the Bundy household is invaded by a persistent rodent. Too proud to call in a professional exterminator, Al (Ed O'Neill) vows to get rid of the mouse himself, donning "Rambo" gear for just that purpose--and nearly destroying the house in the process. Watch for a neat "inside" reference to Mike Semon, the series' real-life property master. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: I'm Goin' to Sweatland
No one believes Peg (Katey Sagal) when she rushes home from the mall claiming to have seen Elvis Presley). But when a sweat-stain in the shape of Elvis' face shows up on a shirt belong to Al (Ed O'Neill), the Bundy household is besieged by faithful acolytes of The King. Trivia note: Boris Sagal, the father of series star Katey Sagal, was the director of the 1965 Presley flick Girl Happy. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: I'll See You in Court
This is the celebrated "lost" episode of Married... With Children, in which Peg (Katey Sagal) and Al (Ed O'Neill) spend a weekend at the sleazy Hop-On-In Motel. Tuning in to an X-rated cable station, the Bundys are surprised to see their own neighbors Steve (David Garrison) and Marcy (Amanda Bearse) in a porno film. It turns out that the motel has been secretly videotaping the sexual shenanigans of its guests -- including the Bundys. Outraged, Al and Peg join Steve and Marcy in filing suit against the hotel owners, with surprising (and humiliating!) results. Although this episode was slated to air in February of 1989, the Fox network would not approve the final version, which had an unprecedented 15 "censor notes." As a result, "I'll See You in Court" was not broadcast on the United States until it was run by cable's FX service on June 18, 2002 -- over 13 years after it was taped. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Harder They Fall
Riding in Steve's car, Peg (Katey Sagal) gives a careless motorist the finger. Now Steve (David Garrison) is terrified that he'll be beaten up, especially when the other driver follows him home. Al (Ed O'Neill) advises Steve that the best way to win a fight is to get the drop on his opponent -- and without going into further detail, suffice it to say that the episode's supporting cast includes dwarf actor Dan Frishman, best remembered as John Larroquette's mean-spirited boss on Night Court. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: It's a Bundyful Life, Part 1
In the first episode of a two-part story (originally telecast as a single hour-long entry on the same evening as the debut of The Simpsons), Al (Ed O'Neill) wants to have "The Best Christmas Ever" for the Bundy family. Unfortunately, a few of the shoe-store customers insist upon hanging around after closing time--and as a result, Al arrives too late to withdraw the funds necessary to purchase presents. Meanwhile, Marcy (Amanda Bearse) gets drunk at an office party and leaves a strange "souvenir" at the copying machine. This episode is highlighted by a full-throated performance of "The Bundys' Five Days of Christmas" (no partridges or pear trees in THIS one!) ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: A Dump of My Own
Al (Ed O'Neill) puts aside his patriarchal responsibilities--such as they are--to fulfill his lifelong dream, previously elucidated in the Season One episode "Whose Room Is It Anyway?". Simply put, Al constructs his own personal "executive washroom" in the Bundy garage, complete with a magnificent Ferguson toilet--an appliance beautiful enough to kiss, which Al does! This episode was originally titled "The Impossible Dream", a tipoff to its ironic coda. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Hot Off the Grill
Married... With Children begins its fourth season as the traditional Bundy gender roles are switched in honor of labor day. While Al (Ed O'Neill) loafs around and dreams of sex, Peg dutifully dishes up some special "Bundy Burgers" on the barbecue. This year, the burgers have a whole new flavor; thanks to a bit of creative larceny by Kelly Bundy (Christina Applegate), Peg has accidentally barbecued the ashes of Marcy Rhodes' (Amanda Bearse) dear departed aunt. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Buck Saves the Day
The Bundy kids take extreme measures to raise money for some concert tickets. Bud (David Faustino) auctions off his dad Al (Ed O'Neill) as a camping guide, leading to a calamitous foray into the wilderness with a pack of unruly children (one of them played by David Faustino's younger brother Michael Faustino). Meanwhile, Kelly (Christina Applegate) sits in on a poker game with mom Peg (Katey Sagal) and friends, enterprisingly upping the ante with each hand. And, oh yes, per the episode's title, the Bundys' dog Buck does save the day (or at least the episode). ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: He Ain't Much, But He's Mine
While visiting the beauty parlor, Peg (Katey Sagal) strikes up a conversation with Ginger (Elizabeth Keifer), a well-heeled woman who is obvious being kept in a manner to which Peg is unaccustomed. As Ginger describes the man in her life, Peg blanches: the description fits her own husband Al (Ed O'Neill) to a T. Elsewhere, a cosmetic catastrophe causes Marcy (Amanda Bearse) to emerge from the parlor with a Peg Bundy hairstyle! ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Oh, What a Feeling
When the old Bundymobile finally conks out, Al (Ed O'Neill) heads to the secret spot where he has buried the extra cash needed to purchase a new vehicle. Unfortunately, Peg (Katey Sagal) has already found that secret spot, leaving Al with only enough money to buy a used car--the kind where the doors and the hood never seem to work at the same time. Appearing as Mrs. Writeman is Nancy Priddy, the real-life mother of series regular Christina Applegate (Kelly Bundy). ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: At the Zoo
Fired from the bank after okaying a loan for neighbor Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill) in the previous episode "976-SHOE", Steve (David Garrison) is supposed to be out looking for a new job. Instead, Steve has been spending his days with the Bundys at the zoo and the aquarium--and when his wife Marcy (Amanda Bearse) finds out...well, it isn't pretty. This episode has been slightly trimmed for the DVD version. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Requiem for a Dead Barber
Upon the death of his barber, Al (Ed O'Neill) must endure the humiliation of visiting a salon and submitting to a stylist. The results inspire Al's family to make several barbed comments about his rather epicene appearance, which son Bud (David Faustino) sums up as the "No Closet Can Hold Me Look." Rather than undergo another assault on his machismo, Al decides to grow his hair long--REAL long. This episode received three Emmy nominations. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: My Mom, the Mom
Deciding it's high time that his son learn financial responsibility, Al (Ed O'Neill) forces Bud (David Faustino) to make restitution for breaking the neighbors' window. At the same time, Peggy (Katey Sagal) agrees to lecture on the joys of wifely domesticity for Mother-Daughter Career Day at Kelly's (Christina Applegate) high school. Needless to say, neither Al nor Peggy succeed in what they'd set out to do (have they ever?). ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The House That Peg Lost
The guy who stopped at the Bundy home asking directions to Steve's Road House was met at the door by Peg Bundy (Katey Sagal), who thought he wanted to know the location of "Steve Rhodes' House." As a result, the Bundy's neighbors Steve and Marcy Rhodes (David Garrison, Amanda Bearse) return from a trip to find a huge, gaping hole where their house had been. Things get even dicier when the Rhodes are forced to bunk with the Bundys on the night of Kelly's (Christina Applegate) slumber party -- an event that has already been targeted for invasion by Kelly's brother Bud (David Faustino). ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Married... With Queen
In the first episode of a two-part story, Al (Ed O'Neill) and Peg (Katey Sagal) attend their high school reunion, where Peg hopes to be crowned prom queen. Unfortunately, her competition is her old archrival Connie (Lisa Raggio), who seems to have the inside track to the crown. What results is a duel between the former Peg Wanker ("Don't Bother to the Thank Her") and Connie Bender ("Bring a Friend It Won't Offend Her"), with Peg spending nearly 3,000 dollars to fix the voters. The musical group the Why makes an appearance. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Married... With Queen - The Sequel
In the conclusion of a two-part story, the high-school rivalry between Peg (Katey Sagal) and Connie (Lisa Raggio) continues spilling over into adulthood as the two women vie for the honor of prom queen at their class reunion. The proceedings get down and dirty (or, to be precise, downer and dirtier than usual) as Peg bribes the voters and Al (Ed O'Neill) squares off against Connie's husband Jack (Jack Yates). Meanwhile, Al and Peg's kids Kelly (Christina Applegate) and Bud (David Faustino) dress up as hippies in hopes of crashing the prom banquet. Playboy centerfold Lynne Austin makes a cameo appearance. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Fair Exchange
A young Milla Jovovich (The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc) appears in this episode as Yvette, an attractive French exchange student. In order to bring an extra 500 bucks per month into the household, the Bundys agree to be Yvette's sponsor family. This proves disastrous for Kelly Bundy (Christina Applegate), as Yvette effortlessly swipes all of Kelly's boyfriends. (Curiously, this was the series' Halloween 1989 episode!) ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Dateless Amigo
When two of his school buddies manage to land dates, Bud (David Faustino) takes desperate action to keep up with his pals' social life. This includes getting hold of a life-sized mannequin (named "Monique") and using a vacuum cleaner to apply some artificial hickies. Meanwhile, Al (Ed O'Neill) hopes to strike it rich with his latest invention, "Shoe Lights", using Kelly as his reluctant demonstration model. Featured as Boz is a youthful Stephen Dorff. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Life's a Beach
The family celebrates "Bundy Day at the Beach" -- with 100 dollars unwittingly provided by neighbor Steve (David Garrison). As the Bundy kids pursue new romances, Al contemplates a rendezvous with an old flame (Morgan Brittany). This episode, which features series star David Faustino's younger brother (Michael Faustino) has been slightly expurgated for syndication -- though the spectacular car-smash scene remains intact. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Here's Lookin' at You, Kid
Upset that she is the only woman in the neighborhood who hasn't been victimized by a Peeping Tom, Peg (Katey Sagal) begins setting out milk and cookies in hopes of attracting the guy's attention. Meanwhile, a prankish Bud (David Faustino) goes through the motions of tutoring Kelly (Christina Applegate), who is anxious to graduate from high school. Former Playboy centerfold (Luann Lee) makes an appearance in this, the final episode of Married... With Children's third season. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: It's a Bundyful Life, Part 2
In the conclusion of a two-part story(originally telecast as a single hour-long entry on the same evening as the debut of The Simpsons), Al (Ed O'Neill) is unable to raise enough money to buy Christmas presents before him--and in the fine tradtion of George Bailey, he declares that he wishes he were never born. Enter Al's foul-mouthed guardian angel, who looks, sounds and dresses like comedian Sam Kinison. After ranting and railing about his own miserable luck, the Angel shows Al what things would have been like if he wasn't around. In one of the more horrifying visions, Peg (Katey Sagal) is shown to be the obedient, well-coiffed bride of a wealthy yuppie named played by Ted McGinley, who would later join the series' cast in the role of Jefferson D'Arcy. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: 976-Shoe
In this pivotal episode, banker Steve (David Garrison) faces unemployment after okaying a $50,000 loan for Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill). It seems that Al wants to launch a new telephone hotline service called "Dr. Shoe", which proves to be a bottomless money pit. Helpfully, Steve's wife Marcy loans back the 50 thou from her own bank--and in so doing places her own job in jeopardy. Featured in the cast as the sheriff is Dan Tullis Jr., who later became a regular in the role of Officer Dan. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Desperately Seeking Miss October
Brandi Brandt, Playboy's Miss October of 1987, appears in this episode as a customer at the shoe store where Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill) works. Entranced by Ms. Brandt's--er--attributes--Al rushes home to look up her foldout in his treasured Playboy collection, handed down to him by his late father. Alas, Peg (Katey Sagal) has sold all the magazines in hopes of winning a lottery. It takes a Hamlet-like visit from the ghost of Al's dad to spur our hero into forcing Peg to do "the right thing" and retrieve the collection--but the price for this burst of macho proves to be mighty steep. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Dead Men Don't Do Aerobics
Contest winner Peg (Katey Sagal) gets to spend a week with TV aerobics instructor Jim Jupiter (Tom Lahm), "The Healthiest Man in Chicago." Though she hates to exercise, Peg is thrilled to be in close quarters with the handsome and muscular Mr. Jupiter -- while her husband Al (Ed O'Neill) dismisses the man as a "fruit loop." Unexpectedly, the week turns into a war of wills between Peg and Jupiter, with Peg working overtime to convert the man to her slothful, self-indulgent lifestyle -- with shocking results. This may be the only TV episode in history dedicated to the memory of a cockroach. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Computer Show
Once again defying Al's wishes, Peg (Katey Sagal) goes out and buys a computer. It's an impressive model by 1989 standards, boasting a 40 MB hard disk and a 7 MB RAM. Unfortunately, the Bundys aren't exactly computer literate, and end up using the monitor as a hat rack. The plot thickens when it turns out that the computer can talk -- but only to Al (Ed O'Neill). ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: A Three Job, No Income Family
Outraged that Peggy (Katey Sagal) is making more than he is as a Patty-Girl Makeup representative, shoe clerk Al (Ed O'Neill) takes on a second job. This proves to be a less than exhilarating experience when Al reports for work at a theme restaurant called Burger Trek ("Whoosh!"). The estimable Pauly Shore appears as Al's Captain Kirk wannabe boss. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Can't Dance, Don't Ask Me
As punishment for a prank, Kelly (Christina Applegate) is ordered by the school principal to join a tap-dancing club. Much as she loathes the prospect of being surrounded by "geeks and dweebs," Kelly rises to the occasion with an astonishingly uninhibited dance interpretation of the pop song "Fever." A young Jesse Borego (24) appears in this episode, wherein we are treated for the first time to the Bundy Family Credo: "When One Bundy Is Embarrassed, the Rest of Us Feel Better About Ourselves." ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Eatin' Out
Unexpectedly falling heir to 250 dollars, Al (Ed O'Neill) and Peg (Katey Sagal) decide to spend their windfall at a fancy restaurant, dragging their reluctant kids Kelly (Christina Applegate) and Bud (David Faustino) along. After doing an excellent job of trashing the restaurant's decorum, Al discovers that he's left his wallet at home. Sent back to retrieve the money, the kids decide instead to abandon their parents and head off to the rock concert they'd wanted to attend in the first place! Former Playboy centerfold Dona Speir turns up in a small but showy role. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Tooth or Consequences
Even 17 years of marriage is not nearly as painful as the toothache currently plaguing Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill). In desperation, Al visits his neighbor Marcy's (Amanda Bearse) dentist, who bears the Three Stoogelike name of Dr. Plierson (Joe Flaherty). As the session progresses, both Al and Plierson are perilously distracted by buxom dental assistant T.C. (played by former adult-film ingénue Traci Lords). ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Gypsy Cried
Marcy (Amanda Bearse) is more uptight than usual when a gypsy fortune teller (Carmen Zapata) predicts her premature demise. Since the psychic has seen good things in the future for the Bundys, Marcy insists that Al (Ed O'Neill) and Peg (Katey Sagal) accompany her on a plane trip to New York, as a form of "life insurance". The journey proves to be unforgettable thanks to the delirious reaction of the Bundys to First Class accommodations. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Bald and the Beautiful
In one of the series' most hair-raising episodes, Steve (David Garrison) is terrified at the prospect of going bald. Though Al (Ed O'Neill) is a bit more philosophical on the subject--after all, the world is full of famous chrome-domes, including Khrushchev, Fred Mertz and Gallagher--he becomes as paranoid as Steve after a bad experience with something called "Insta-Hair." The climax finds both Steve and Al attending a meeting of a club for bald men, which morphs into something like "Hair Anonymous." ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Her Cups Runneth Over
This is the notorious episode which incurred the wrath of housewife-activist Terry Rakolta, who promptly mounted a campaign to get Married. . .With Children banned from the air. The plot involves a journey to "Francine's of Hollywood", a lingerie store in exotic Oconomowoc, Wisconsin. Surrounded by such well-endowed fellow customers as former Playboy centerfolds Devin Devbasquez and Lynne Austin, Al endeavors to purchase a designer bra as birthday surprise for wife Peg (Katey Sagal. Ironically--if not surprisingly--Ms. Rakolta's crusade against Married. . .With Children served primarily to increase the series' viewership by a huge percentage! ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Do Ya Think I'm Sexy
The ladies of the neighborhood designate Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill) as a "hunk" when they see him helping a woman named Brenda (Rhonda Shear) move a couch. Intending to live up to his new "stud" status, Al begins dressing to the nines, and even starts taking showers. . .EVERY DAY!!!! Dumbfounded by this turn of events, Peg (Katey Sagal) wishes that the "Old Al" would come back, warts and all. Former Playboy centerfold Teri Weigel appears as Jade. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: And Baby Makes Money
Al (Ed O'Neill) stands to inherit half a million dollars if he names his next child after his Uncle Stymie. First, however, he must have a "next child", and this means several months of bedroom sessions with wife Peg (Katey Sagal). But Peg doesn't want to go through the ordeal of pregnancy for the third time--as she explains it, Bundys take ten months to deliver because they "never wanna go out" and once out "never wanna go back in"--so she surreptitiously takes birth control pills. Ultimately Al finds out, and plots a fiendish revenge. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Kelly Bounces Back
Kelly's career as a model begins in earnest when she auditions for the job of spokesperson for the Allante car. Having perfected the "Bundy Bounce" in hopes of landing the job, Kelly (Christina Applegate) is astonished when another model (Tia Carrere) shows up with the same "Bounce"--and it's all the fault of Kelly's brother Bud (David Faustino). Meanwhile, a casual remark from Al (Ed O'Neill) prompts Peg (Katey Sagal) to go on strike (as if she actually ever does anything!) Onetime Gilligan's Island regular Tina Louise appears as Miss Beck. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: You Gotta Know When to Fold 'Em, Part 1
In the first episode of a two-part story, Marcy (Amanda Bearse) is crushed when her husband Steve walks out on her, leaving a far-from-tender "Dear Marcy" note behind. In her efforts to cheer Marcy up, Peg (Katey Sagal) invites her for a weekend in Las Vegas--which proves devastatingly expensive for both ladies. And back at home, Peg's 15-year-old son Bud (David Faustino) begins fantasizing about getting Marcy on the rebound, and in the process makes a "revelation" which surprises no one. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Rock and Roll Girl
When Al tells the kids that they're going to have to earn their own keep, Kelly becomes a singer with a group called The Gutter Cats (playing themselves). Enterprising Bud likewise finds work--as Kelly's agent, with most of her earnings coming his way. Listen for a brief but pointed reference to the home town of Married. . .With Children's "bete noire", housewife-activist Terry Rakolta. This is the final episode to feature David Garrison as a regular. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: A Taxing Problem
Thanks to the creative bookkeeping of Peg Bundy (Katey Sagal), the family files a tax return that comes up short by about $5000. To avoid being thrown in jail, Al (Ed O'Neill) casts about for some fast money--and thinks he finds it when a married couple (Paul Coutos, Coleen Maloney) is willing to purchase Peg's hair. Meanwhile, Steve Rhodes (David Garrison) reveals more information than his wife Marcy (Amanda Bearse) is willing to hear. This is the last episode to feature David Garrison as a regular, but not the last to be telecast. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: One Down, Two to Go
After Al (Ed O'Neill) beats up four of her boyfriends in a row, Kelly moves out of the Bundy household and into a $246-a-month apartment. Upset by Kelly's defection, Peg (Katey Sagal) begins babying Bud (David Faustino) so that he won't leave as well (not bad treatment for a kid who, when he really was a baby, had to learn to change his own diapers). Meanwhile, Al imagines all sorts of awful things as he attempts to figure out how Kelly can afford her luxurious new living quarters. Series creators Ron Leavitt and Michael Moye make unbilled cameo appearances. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Who'll Stop the Rain?
Proclaiming himself "One Man Against Nature," Al (Ed O'Neill) declares war against the Bundy home's leaky roof. Refusing to call in a professional, Al is determined to repair the leak himself--no matter how often, and how predictably, he falls off the roof. Elsewhere, Steve (David Garrison lands a job at Slither's pet shop, only to reconsider his position when wife Marcy (Amanda Bearse) gets bitten by a hostile guinea pig. This episode received an Emmy nomination for editing. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Peggy Made a Little Lamb
Because she flunked home economics, Peg (Katey Sagal) never officially graduated from high school. Hoping to belatedly earn her diploma, Peg enrolls in the same home-ec class attended by her daughter Kelly (Christina Applegate), where the two Bundy ladies have a high old time preparing for their finals. And back at home, family dog Buck speaks out loud for the first time--and not surprisingly, it's a withering put-down of Al (Ed O'Neill) ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Rain Girl
No synopsis available.
Married... With Children: Yard Sale
Having long suffered in silence as wife Peg (Katey Sagal) has purchased one useless item after another at various yard sales, Al (Ed O'Neill) finally says "ENOUGH!" when his wife drags home a bulky boar's head. Employing the "Bigger Idiot Theory", which insists that one man's trash is another man's treasure, Al tries to purge himself of Peg's collection of clutter by holding his own yard sale. Alas, no one seems to be in the market for a globe of the Southern hemisphere or a dead parrot, so Al comes up with still another scheme: "Bundyland"! This is the final episode of Married. . .With Children's fourth season. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Al... with Kelly
To avoid visiting Peg's family in Wanker County, Al (Ed O'Neill) and Kelly (Christina Applegate) feign illness. Unfortunately, Kelly gets sick for real, forcing Al to tend to her every need. This wreaks havoc on Al's plans to watch his favorite TV show "Psycho Dad" (love that theme song!), to say nothing of enjoying his ongoing fantasy about making love to two different women (one of whom is none other than Pamela Anderson). ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Sue Casa, His Casa
No sooner has Al (Ed O'Neill) cancelled the family's car insurance than newly-licensed driver Bud (David Faustino) has an accident in the Bundymobile. Bud's story is that the driver of the Mercedes hit him, and the family intends to back him up by appearing in court with a variety of highly suspicious-looking injuries (sister Kelly arrives with a white cane and seeing eye dog). Ultimately, however, the truth comes out, thanks to unwilling witness Marcy. Psychologist Dr. Joyce Brothers) appears as the judge. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Unnatural
Peg (Katey Sagal), Bud (David Faustino) and Kelly (Christina Applegate) hold the three crucial votes that will determine whether or not Al (Ed O'Neill) can pitch in an upcoming championship softball game. Though the kids are easily bought off, Peg's decision is swayed by one glance at Al's replacement, muscle-bound Sven Hunkstrom (Dan Blom). But in the ninth inning, Sven is injured--so guess who steps up to the pitcher's mound? This episode manages to include virtually every baseball-movie cliché known to man (including a wickedly hilarious send-up of Lou Gehrig's farewell speech), and as a bonus features future Beverly Hills 90210 regular Ian Ziering in a small role. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: You Gotta Know When to Fold 'Em, Part 2
In the conclusion of a two part story, Al (Ed O'Neill) shows up in Las Vegas to bail out Peg (Katey Sagal) and Marcy (Amanda Bearse), who have dropped $5000 at the gambling tables. Seeing the opportunity to re-earn the money and make a $15,000 profit in the bargain, Al agrees to spend three minutes in the ring with The Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling's "Big Bad Momma" (aka Lynn Braxton). Billed in the original ads as "A Wrestling Spectacular", this episode may not quite live up to the hype, but at least it does feature former Playboy centerfold Ava Fabian. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Peggy Turns 300
As a birthday present for Peg (Katey Sagal), Al (Ed O'Neill) takes her to the beautiful Bowlarama. Here he continues the celebration by breaking the record set by his longtime bowling rival Puggy (Michael McManus). Alas, Al's triumph is shortlived; grabbing the ball herself, Peg ends up bowling a perfect 300! Sportcaster Roy Firestone and TV journalist Garrett Glaser appear as themselves. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: We'll Follow the Sun
Season Five of Married. . .With Children gets under way with yet another "very special" Labor Day for the Bundy family. This year, Al (Ed O'Neill) declares that he is going to pack his wife and kiddies in the Bundymobile and embark upon a cross-country motor trip: "We take no map, we follow the sun, we ride with the wind." But what he hasn't counted on is getting tied up in a huge Chicago traffic jam for the entire weekend. In other developments, Kelly Bundy (Christina Applegate) has graduated from high school (miracles do happen!), and next-door neighbor Marcy Rhodes (Amanda Bearse) has lost a husband but regained a job--though not in the expected manner. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Agony of De Feet
Al (Ed O'Neill) has always dreamed about judging a beauty contest, so it is a dream come true when he is selected to preside over just such a contest at the shoe store. Unfortunately, dreams turn to nightmares as Al imagines that he is besieged by huge pairs of feet. Elsewhere, Kelly (Christina Applegate) cooks up a nasty scheme (with lipstick as the principal ingredient) to make Bud (David Faustino) and Marcy (Amanda Bearse) think that they've "done it." ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: What Goes Around Came Around
Still something of a local legend thanks to his gridiron brilliance as a member of the "Polk Panthers", Al (Ed O'Neill) is invited to deliver a speech at his high school homecoming. Elsewhere, Al's daughter Kelly (Christina Applegate) tries to juggle two dates at once, while son Bud (David Faustino) formulates a plan to get even with a girl who once humiliated him in public. The girl in question is played by future Beverly Hills 90210 regular Tiffani-Amber Thiessen (here billed without the "Amber"), while also in the cast is A Different World's Cory Tyler. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Dance Show
Peg (Katey Sagal) starts going to Marcy's (Amanda Bearse) dance hall, where her perennial partner is a handsome and elegant gentleman named Andy (Sam McMurray). Though Peg's hubby Al is cool with this, he doesn't quite know what to make of the news that Andy is married--to a "husband" named Pete! The latter character is played by Dan Castellaneta, one year into his long run as the voice of Homer Simpson. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Wabbit Season
Stressed out by his job, Al (Ed O'Neill) follows his doctor's advice to relax and find a hobby. Before long, Al is in the backyard cultivating a garden--a pursuit that proves just as stressful as his job when a rascally rabbit starts eating all the carrots. Once again, Elmer--er, Al declares war, and once again dons his Rambo bullet belts to prove he means business. Highlights include a full rendition of that popular traditional roundelay "Ol' McBundy Had a Farm." ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Married... with Aliens
After suffering a bump on the head, Al (Ed O'Neill) sees six little green space aliens stealing his socks. Or at least that's what he thinks he sees--and try getting anyone else to believe him. The punch line of the episode is provided via a "Star Wars"-type scroll, which not proves that Al is telling the truth, but also that he's let another golden opportunity to advance himself slip right through his grubby fingers. And remember: the secret word is "Mizzoozoo." This episode received a 1991 Emny nomination for outstanding achievement in costuming. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: You Better Shop Around, Part 1
When the Bundys' faulty air conditioner causes a huge power blackout in the neighborhood, Al (Ed O'Neill) takes decisive action. No, he doesn't buy a new conditioner: Instead, he moves his family into the cool confines of the local Foodie supermarket. Ordered to leave the premises or risk facing arrest, the Bundys hightail it to the checkout counter--where Peg ends up winning a $1000 shopping spree as Foodie's millionth customer! This is the first episode of a two-part story. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Weenie Tot Lovers & Other Strangers
Al (Ed O'Neill) must choose between paying for son Bud's (David Faustino) visit to the White House, or financing the efforts of daughter Kelly (Christina Applegate) to become "Miss Weenie Tot." Well. . .since Al will get a year's supply of delicious Weenie-Tots if Kelly lands the job, there's no contest, is there? Trouble is, Al will never get to enjoy these special snack treats (if that's what you want to call them): Peg (Katey Sagal) wrecks his entire Weenie-Tot supply while searching for a winning prize ticket. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Al Bundy, Shoe Dick
While working as a janitor in a private detective's office, Al is mistaken for a "P.I." by a beautiful client named Vanessa Van Pelt (played by the formidable Traci Lords). Donning trench-coat and snap-brim, Al goes "noir" to help Vanessa claim a valuable gem which is in dangered of being pilfered by her greedy family--and for his troubles ends up accused of murder. This episode takes into account the recent real-life miscarriage of series star Katey Sagal by setting up a Dallas-like "explanation" as to why suddenly two of the characters are no longer pregnant, neatly negating EVERYTHING that has happened since the beginning of Season Six. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: I Who Have Nothing
Desiring to own an item that really, REALLY means something to him, Al (Ed O'Neill) tries to reclaim the championship game ball from his greatest high school football triumph. Unfortunately, the ball is currently in the possession of Al's former flame Sandy (Wendie Jo Sperber)--who agrees to relinquish the trophy in exchange for--er--"services rendered." What happens next? Well, to quote the song: "She wore bluuuue velvet. . ." ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: If Al Had a Hammer
With the Bundy "heirloom hammer" in his hand, Al (Ed O'Neill) builds a new private room all for himself, wherein he hopes to retreat from the pressures of impending fatherhood. Trouble is, all the other guys in the neighborhood with pregnant wives want to crowd into the new room--and there are more on the way. Meanwhile, Al's son Bud (David Faustino) makes more trouble for himself than usual when he creates the new identity of rapper "Grandmaster B". Featured in the cast are Catherine Rusoff and Sharyn Leavitt, respectively the real-life spouses of star Ed O'Neill and series cocreator Ron Leavitt. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Kelly Does Hollywood, Part 1
In the first episode of a two-part story, Kelly (Christina Applegate) is cheated out of a chance to appear on public access TV. In retaliation, she borrows 35 bucks and assembles her own Access series, "Vital Social Issues 'N' Stuff with KELLY", replete with a live band and a round table of female airheads. So successful is Kelly's video effort that a major network (no, not Fox) evinces interest in picking up the show for the Big Time. Katey Sagal (Peggy) does not appear in this episode, nor does Amanda Bearse (who served as director)show up in her familiar "Marcy D'Arcy" character--though Bearse can be fleetingly seen in the Access show "Short Haired Women in Banking." On the other hand, Matt LeBlanc makes a return appearance as Kelly Bundy's dimwitted male counterpart Vinnie Verducci. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Oldies But Young 'Uns
Al (Ed O'Neill) nearly goes out of his mind when he is unable to identify a song that he heard on the radio and has been humming ever since. In the midst of his strenuous efforts to pinpoint the song's title, Al manages to find time to berate his daughter Kelly's latest boyfriend, Vinnie Verducci (played by a decidedly pre-Friends Matt LeBlanc. We're not about to give away the name of the song, but here's a hint: it was a big hit back in 1962 for r-and-b singer Arthur Alexander--and the title is NOT what everyone thinks it is! ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: All Night Security Dude
Briefly laid off because of a freak accident at the shoe store, Al (Ed O'Neill) goes to work as a security guard at Polk High School, his alma mater. On the first night of the job, Al must contend with the unexpected appearance of his onetime high school rival Spare Tire Dixon (Bubba Smith), who has broken into the school intending to steal its coveted football trophy. References to such pop-culture classics as the TV series Branded and the Oscar-winning film Chariots of Fire abound in this episode, which star Ed O'Neill has listed as his favorite. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Buck the Stud
In the conclusion of Married. . .With Children's fifth season, the Bundys stand to earn $10,000 if they will agree to let their dog Buck breed with Lady Briard, a champion canine owned by wealthy Mr. Lovejoy (Armin Shimerman). Unfortunately, Buck proves unworthy of the honor--and now Al must pay back the money he never earned. Meanwhile, Kelly (Christina Applegate) persuades a reluctant Bud (David Faustino) to clothe himself in a progression of Renaissance-Faire outfits. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Kids! Wadaya Gonna Do?
It's "night out" time for the Bundys as Al (Ed O'Neill) and Peg (Katey Sagal) descend upon Marcy's house to watch a cable-TV movie, Kelly (Christina Applegate) babysits for the horrible Hubbard kids, and Bud (David Faustino) finally "gets lucky" thanks to an obliging young lady named Crystal (Helena Apothaker). As things turn out, Bud is the only one who can look back upon the evening with anything resembling fondness. Appearing as the Hubbard youngsters are several real-life children of the Married. . .With Children production staff. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Top of the Heap
Ed O'Neill (Al Bundy) is the only Married. . .With Children regular to appear in the series' 100th episode, which serves as the pilot for the spinoff series Top of the Heap. The focus is on Al Bundy's lifelong buddy Charlie Verducci (Joseph Bologna), Charlie's dimwitted son Vinnie (a pre-Friends Matt LeBlanc) and hot-to-trot Kathleen Morgan (Diana Bellamy). Plot complications include Charlie's efforts to land a wealthy bride for his son at a fundraiser, Vinnie's attempt to be champion boxer, and Al's revenge after losing his TV in a bet. Watch for future film favorite Renee Zellwegger in a minor role. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Route 666, Part 1
In the first episode of a two-part story, the Bundymobile breaks down in the middle of the Nevada desert, where Al (Ed O'Neill) ends up trading the car for a map to a gold mine. Summoned to the desert by the Bundy for extra funds and supplies, Marcy (Amanda Bearse) and Jefferson (Ted McGinley) are also swept up in the race for the gold. Series cocreator Michael Moye appears as the inappropriately named "Young Zeke." ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Route 666, Part 2
In the conclusion of a two-part story, the Bundys and the D'Arcys continue prospecting for gold in the desert--and wonder of wonders, everyone strikes it rich except for Kelly (Christina Applegate). Before long, the five "millionaires" are fantasizing over how they will spend their riches--especially Al (Ed. O'Neill), who has conjured up an image of being surrounded by former Playboy bunnies (including Pam Anderson, Ava Fabian and Renee Tenison), with Peg (Katey Sagal) nowhere in sight. Little do the novice prospectors realize that they've been snookered by the owners of a desert tourist trap! ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: If I Could See Me Now
Al (Ed O'Neill) insists he doesn't need glasses, even though he has ( a ) handed his son a banana instead of the remote control, ( b ) mistaken Fidel Castro for Bea Arthur, and ( c ) nearly driven the Bundymobile into a lake. Finally he breaks down and buys some speck--and predictably, he doesn't like what is now able to see. Series regular Amanda Bearse (Marcy) makes her directorial debut in this episode, the first of several Season Six installments in which star Katey Sagal does not appear. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Buck Has a Belly Ache
Stressed out over the impending addition to the Bundy family, Buck the dog stops eating. The family immediately shifts its attention from pregnant Peg (Katey Sagal) to the morose mutt. Upset over being ignored, Peg packs up and pays a visit to her relatives in Wanker County, where a serious culture clash quickly develops between Mrs. Bundy and Cousins Eb and Effie (William Sanderson, Joey Lauren Adams). ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Looking for a Desk in All the Wrong Places
When Jefferson (Ted McGinley) sells all of Marcy's childhood possessions, Peg (Katey Sagal) joins Marcy (Amanda Bearse) on a search-and-seizure mission, heading to the out-of-town storage locker where the valuables are stored. Al (Ed O'Neill) takes advantage of Peg's absence to hold an "anti-baby meeting" with Bud (David Faustino) and Kelly (Christina Applegate), hoping to make up for the things neglected by Peg during the first months of her pregnancy. The kids are full of swell ideas for Al's "New World Order"; trouble is, none of them are in any way practical. Featured in the supporting cast is former Playboy centerfold Renee Tenison and her twin sister Rosie Tenison. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Cheese, Cues and Blood
Kelly (Christina Applegate) needs $1000 to buy a gown for the upcoming "Miss Cheese" competition. Al (Ed O'Neill) obligingly sells his own blood to raise the money, only to discover that Kelly has already accumulated most of what she needs. Naturally, Al is suspicious over the source of Kelly's sudden wealth--little realizing that she is merely pocketing her winnings from a series of high-stakes pool games. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: She's Having My Baby, Part 2
In the conclusion of Married. . .With Children's two-part Season Six opener, both Al (Ed O'Neill) and Jefferson (Ted McGinley) greet the news that their wives are pregnant with fear and loathing. Facing nine months of belly-rubs, mood swings and nausea, Al rushes out of the house and into a bar adjacent to a bus-terminal--a bar that prove to be amply stocked with scantily clad dancing girls. Featured in the role of "Man With Nose" is Joe Sagal, the brother of series regular Katey Sagal (Peg Bundy)--who really was pregnant at the time. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: She's Having My Baby, Part 1
Married. . .With Children launches its sixth season with the first episode of a two-part story, as Marcy D'Arcy (Amanda Bearse) informs her new husband Jefferson (Ted McGinley, now promoted to star billing) that she is pregnant. Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill) chortles and guffaws at Jefferson's discomfort--until Peg Bundy (Katey Sagal) tells Al that she, too, is expecting. The news proves devastating not only for Al but to his kids Bud and Kelly, who aren't keen upon sharing the spotlight with a squalling brat. Future ER and Men in Trees regular Abraham Benrubi shows up in a dream sequence as the future Bundy Baby. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: So This Is How Sinatra Felt
Peggy (Katey Sagal) suspects that Al's weird behavior is the result of an extramarital affair. Though they're convinced that "the only thing Dad is cheating on is death", Bud (David Faustino) and Kelly (Christina Applegate) agree to spy on Al on their mom's behalf--and in so doing uncover the shenanigans of a "shoe groupie." Jessica Hahn, who'd achieved a measure of negative fame in association with Senator Gary Hart, appears in this episode. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Kelly Does Hollywood, Part 2
In the conclusion of a two-part episode, the Bundy family--minus Peg (Katey Sagal), who along with Ted McGinley (Jefferson D'Arcy), does not appear in this episode--heads to Hollywood, where Kelly (Christina Applegate) is to launch a major network version of her public-access TV show "Vital Social Issues 'N' Stuff with KELLY". Alas, the project all but dies aborning thanks to the well-meaning but ill-advised interference of network executives and censors (this is one of the few episodes in which Kelly's cleavage is NOT on display). Not surprisingly, inside jokes abound in this episode, ranging from the posters for various faux TV series adorning the walls of the network offices, to the name of the character played by Jon Lovitz (a delightfully nasty swipe at the then-head of NBC's entertainment division). ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: God's Shoes
Knocked unconscious by a fall, Al (Ed O'Neill) awakens with a proclamation that he has seen God--who, miracle of miracles, wears perfect "wraparound" shoes. This epiphany prompts Al to market his own "Air Bundy" shoe line (motto: "They won't stink till you wear them"), using money given to him by Jefferson--who has "borrowed" the funds from his unwitting spouse Marcy. Katey Sagal (Peggy) does not appear in this episode. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Married... with Who?
This episode serves to introduce Ted McGinley in the role of Jefferson D'Arcy. After getting drunk at a banker's party, Marcy (Amanda Bearse) awakens to find that she's wearing a wedding ring--and that a total stranger is snoozing next to her. Turns out that she has married Jefferson D'Arcy, whom Al (Ed O'Neill) discovers is an ex-swindler and current gigolo. To make certain that Jefferson's intentions were honorable, the Bundys demand that he and Marcy go through a formal wedding service, carefully monitored by the hard-knuckled members of Bud's (David Faustino) soccer team. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Look Who's Barking
The Bundys' pet dog Buck brings home a female pooch to meet the family. Big mistake! Before long the Bundys are lavishing all their attention on the girl dog, leaving Buck in the cold. Meanwhile, Al Bundy demands cheesecake--not just any cheesecake, but a very special cherry cheesecake found only in faraway Wisconsin. Katey Sagal (Peg Bundy) does not appear in this episode, which features B.B.King as a sort of neighborhood troubadour and the voice of Cheech Marin as Buck. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Godfather
Kelly (Christina Applegate) has begun dating Harry Ashland (Lane Davies), a 41-year-old alderman with the "right" connections. Anxious to take advantage of the situation, Kelly's dad Al (Ed O'Neill) appoints himself the neighborhood "Godfather", replete with paraphrased lines from the 1972 Oscar winner of the same name. Meanwhile, Al's son Bud (David Faustino) battles against feelings of being neglected. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: A Man's Castle
Having spent $2000 on interior-decorating school, Peg (Katey Sagal) intends to make over Al's garage "sanctuary" whether he likes it or not. Once she is finished (in every sense of the word), Al (Ed O'Neill) practically swoons in horror at the spectacle of the all-pink results--and he's especially appalled by the sorry fate of his precious Ferguson toilet. This is one of the first TV sitcom episodes to invoke Hitchcock's Psycho for the sake of a quick laugh. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: You Better Shop Around, Part 2
In the conclusion of a two-part episode, it's the Bundys versus the D'Arcys in a "Supermarket Sweep"-like competition at Foodie's Supermarket. Both families are given $1000 to buy as much as they possibly can before a pre-determined deadline, with celebrity judge Jerry Mathers--aka Beaver Cleaver--determining the winner. Meanwhile, the Bundy kids do their best to drive Mathers crazy, but "The Beav" emerges triumphant with the episode's funniest put-down line. With this episode, Ted McGinley becomes a series regular in the previously recurring role of Jefferson D'Arcy. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Dinner with Anthrax
For their 20th anniversary, Peggy (Katey Sagal) wants just one present from Al (Ed O'Neill)--and may get what she wants when the two of them are whisked off to Florida at the behest of their kids Kelly (Christina Applegate) and Bud (David Faustino). Unfortunately, the younger Bundys have an ulterior motive: having won a "My Dinner with Anthrax" award, the kids are anxious to get rid of their parents, and to do this have enmeshed Al and Peg in a shady time-share scam. Appearing as themselves, the rock band Anthrax performs "In My World" and "Bad to the Bone". ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Old College Try
Somehow landing a grant of $25,000, Bud hopes to finally move out of the Bundy household and into a top college. Well, that MIGHT have happened had not Bud's parents Al (Ed O'Neill) and Peg (Katey Sagal) found and spent the money (and they didn't even bother to warn Bud with a "We're spending our kid's college fund" bumper sticker). This episode appeared the same week that star Katey Sagal showed up on the cover of TV Guide--in a Santa Claus outfit! ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Rites of Passage
It's the 18th birthday of Bud Bundy (David Faustino), and mom Peggy (Katey Sagal) intends to celebrate the occasion with a kiddie party, complete with ponies and a psychotic clown named Sticky (Roger Hewlett). But dad Al (Ed O'Neill) insists that Bud undergo the Bundy family "rite of passage"--specifically a night at a nudie bar ("where the music stinks and they water the drinks"), capped by Bud's first bar fight. As a bonus, "Grandmaster B" makes a return appearance, by unpopular demand. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Just Shoe It
Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill) may be a humble minimum-wage shoe salesman, but he's also a former high school football hero. Thus it is that Al is chosen along with pro athletes Steve Carlton), Sugar Ray Leonard and Ed "Too Tall" Jones) to appear in a commercial for a new high-end shoe line. It soon develops that everybody except Al has a say in what the commercial is all about--including Al's feet. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Egg and I
Former series regular David Garrison) makes a return guest appearance as Steve Rhodes, the disgraced ex-husband of Marcy D'Arcy (Amanda Bearse). On the lam from the cops for stealing a rare hawk egg, Steve pauses in his flight long enough to try to win Marcy away from her current spouse Jefferson (Ted McGinley). Meanwhile, Al and Peg Bundy (Ed O'Neill, Katey Sagal) weigh the option of turning in their old friend Steve for the reward money. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Kelly Doesn't Live Here Anyone
Peggy (Katey Sagal) despairs when her daughter Kelly breaks the Wanker Women family tradition by getting a job (actually, Kelly has had several jobs in the past few seasons, by why let a little thing like continuity get in the way of the story?) Landing a position as a waitress, Kelly finds that she gets bigger tips the more she dishes out philosophy. Series regular Amanda Bearse, who directed this episode, does not appear. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: T-R-A. . .Something, Something Spells Tramp
Stranded in the woods after giving her date the brush-off, Kelly (Christina Applegate) discusses (and disses) the Male Sex with her likewise stranded gal pals Lorraine (Liz Vassey and D.J. (Dusty Street). Meanwhile, Kelly's mom Peg (Katey Sagal) goes to desperate lengths to find someone to talk to on a weekend night. And Kelly's brother Bud (David Faustino) dates a girl who is not merely attractive--she's downright contagious! ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Magnificent Seven
"Get ready for a new generation in misery" was the ad tagline as Married. . .With Children launched its seventh season. In the tradition of the ill-fated "Oliver" on The Brady Bunch, Shane Sweet joins the regular cast in the role of a 5-year-old kid named Seven. Left on the Bundy doorstep by Peg's cousins Zemus (Bobcat Goldthwait) and Ida Mae (Linda Blair), the obnoxious Seven appeals to no one but Peg (Katey Sagal), whose maternal instincts are somewhat belatedly awakened! ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: England Show, Part 3
In the conclusion of a three-part story filmed in England (and subtitled "We're Spending As Fast as We Can", the Bundys are trapped between two rival mobs on the border separating the towns of Upper Uncton and Lower Uncton. Slated to be killed in order to lift the "curse of darkness" imposed upon Lower Uncton in 1653, Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill) ends up in a joust, facing local champion Igor (Steve Hartley)--while both mobs wait until they tally up the profits from the concession stands before determining the Bundys' fate. Meanwhile, the D'Arcys (Amanda Bearse, Ted McGinley) somehow end up in a London B&D club. Someone looking like Queen Elizabeth II makes a cameo appearance in this, the final episode of Married. . .With Children's sixth season. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Christmas
After taking a temporary Holiday job as a mall Santa, Al (Ed O'Neill) commiserates with several fellow Ho-Ho-Ho-ers in a bar. As the liquor flows, Al conjures up memories of Christmases past--as well as all the clever methods he has used to avoid buying his family presents. His favorite tactic was to turn all the Bundys against each other just before December 24th--but this year Peg (Katey Sagal) and the kids have forged a united front against this insidious scheme (which has worked like a charm since 1974 at least!) Highlights include two musical numbers: a Bundy-ized variation of "12 Days of Christmas" and the spirited spoof "Bundy the No-Man". ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Psychic Avengers
Upset that he's flat broke, Al (Ed O'Neill) is fascinated by the huge bankroll being flashed around by his neighbor Jefferson (Ted McGinley). It turns out that Jefferson is running a phony phone-psychic scam, posing as a "Madame Zelda." Hoping to get a piece of this pie, Al succeeds only in running afoul of rival psychic Madame Inga (Candice Azzara), who is well known for imposing such curses as turning entire families into chimpanzee. This episode was directed by series regular Amanda Bearse, who otherwise does not appear in her usual role as Marcy D'Arcy. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Hi I.Q.
As the "genius" of the Bundy family (though that's not saying much), Bud (David Faustino) is both surprised and suspicious when his buxom but birdbrained sister Kelly (Christina Applegate) is invited to the "Alpha Club", an organization comprised of geniuses. When it turns out that the nerdy club members have an ulterior motive, Kelly and Bud plot an appropriate revenge. Meanwhile, Peg (Katey Sagal) and Marcy (Amanda Bearse) laugh and laugh while their husbands Al (Ed O'Neill) and Jefferson (Ted McGinley) kill themselves trying to assemble the "Handyman's Workbench 5000." ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Teacher Pets
Nobody takes Bud (David Faustino) seriously when he insists that his middle-aged teacher Miss McGowen (Linda Gibboney) has the hots for him, but no one is laughing when both Miss McGowen and a rapacious student named Darlene (Charlotte Ross) make their moves on the Bundy boy. Elsewhere, Al (Ed O'Neill) goes around crashing kiddie parties to get free pizza, Peggy (Katey Sagal) suffers from a bad cold, and both of them squabble over the respective merits of their favorite TV series "Psycho Dad" and "Psycho Mom." ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Gas Station Show
Declaring that it is "Bundy Sunday Funday", Al (Ed O'Neill) packs his wife and kids into the car--and ends up losing all his ready money by buying a single gallon of gas. Thanks to the fast-food cravings of his family, Al is reduced to working off his debt by pumping gas (wearing a uniform marked "Habib") with son Bud as his assistant. The result: Bud ends up commiserating with the Swedish Bikini Team (Heather Elizabeth Parkhurst, Peggy Trentini, Jane Frances and Anna Keller), while Al is stuck with a bunch of surly Chicago bowlers. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: England Show, Part 1
Lust! Greed! Passion! Shoes! In the first episode of a three-part "saga", the Bundys travel to England, having been invited to the country by the citizens of Lower Uncton. Little do they realizes that Lower Uncton has been under a curse of perpetual darkness since 1653--a curse that will be ended only when the last two surviving Bundy males are killed. Scheming historian Winston (Bill Oddie) and his henchman Igor (Steve Hartley) plan to bump off Al (Ed O'Neill) and Bud (David Faustino) the moment they set foot in Lower Uncton. . .while the populace of neighboring Upper Uncton plan to prevent this from happening so they can continue using Lower Uncton as a tourist attraction. Largely filmed on location in London, this episode features cameo appearances by series story editors Larry Jacobson and Stacie Lipp). ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Al on the Rocks
In her efforts to prove herself a worthy mother (and about time!), Peggy (Katey Sagal) spends the mortgage money on her "adopted" son Seven's doctor bills. Taking things several steps farther, she exiles her own kids from the Bundy house to keep Seven (Shane Sweet) from catching cold. Meanwhile, a financially strapped Al moonlights as a bartender in a topless club--where he's the one who is topless (that is, he keeps his head, but not his shirt). ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: What I Did For Love
Al (Ed O'Neill) has been avoiding sex of late (so what else is new?), so Peggy (Katey Sagal) tries out a series of skimpy outfits which she's bought from Hemphley's lingerie store. This serves to arouse Al's appetite--not for Peggy, but for a thick, juicy steak. Meanwhile, 5-year-old Seven (Shane Sweet) continues to exhibit his "talent" with something resembling a funny stretch of dialogue (it's only a matter of time before the producers wise up and dump the kid!) ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Frat Chance
Tired of striking out with the girls, Bud (David Faustino) starts his own community-college frat house, A.G.G. (Alpha Gonna Get 'Em). The rest of the membership is comprised of misfits and losers, but Bud has high hopes for the frat's first toga party--which, as it turns out, might have been a blast had any girls shown up. Watch for future Melrose Place costar Jamie Luner as a co-ed. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Death of a Shoe Salesman
Al (Ed O'Neill) hopes to fulfill a lifelong dream in death: He wants to be buried next to his childhood idol, movie-cowboy sidekick Fuzzy McGee, and Fuzzy's mule Dadgummit. This explains why Al has purchased a cemetery plot that does not accommodate wife Peggy (Katey Sagal). The best scene involves a coffin-shopping excursion, with Dan Castellaneta, aka the voice of Homer Simpson, as a funeral director. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Rock of Ages
Also known as "Married. . .With Children: The Musical", this episode gets under way when a financially strapped Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill) wins a first-class plane ticket to Hawaii in a shoe-selling contest. Quick to cash in on this windfall, the Bundys convert the ticket into four standbys and spend most of their "vacation" disguised as rock stars (it's "Axel" Bundy, dammit!) and lollygagging around in the airport's VIP lodge with several veteran musicians. Appearing as themselves are John Sebastian of The Lovin' Spoonful, Peter Noone of Herman's Hermits, Mark Lindsay of Paul Revere and the Raiders, Robbie Krieger of The Doors, and Richie Havens and Spencer Davis. Song: "Old Aid". ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Chicago Wine Party
The Bundy family heads to the polls for the first time ever to cast their first votes ever. And what is the issue that has got them so aroused? Well, it seems that someone is proposing a two-cent beer tax--or maybe it's a two percent beer tax, depending on which part of the episode you're watching. And if they can't defeat this tax, there's a viable alternative, involving looting and pillaging. . .and maybe drinking. Real-life KNBC reporter Cynthia Allison appears as herself, while Married. . .With Children cocreator Ron Leavitt and executive producer Larry Jacobson make cameo appearances. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Every Bundy Has a Birthday
Peggy (Katey Sagal) chooses a birthday for her "adopted" son Seven--and Al (Ed O'Neill) is none too happy that it is his birthday that has been stolen. Shortly thereafter, Peg tries to throw a birthday party for Seven at a park where another, wealthier client has made a prior claim for his own son's party. This leaves the Bundys "celebrating" on a tiny, miserable patch of cordoned-off sod! ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Good-Bye Girl
When her modeling school goes belly-up, Kelly (Christina Applegate) gets a job at the "TV World" theme park, which includes such attractions as the "Delta Burke 'Let's Get Big' Exhibit". Unfortunately, her performance ratings are so bad that she is demoted to playing The Verminator in "Commercial Land." Meanwhile, Al (Ed O'Neill) takes the annual Bundy World Tour around his own living room; and series regular Ted McGinley (Jefferson) is subjected to several nasty jokes about the number of TV appearances he's made on cancelled shows ("Jump the Shark", long before that phrase existed!) This episode was featured on the MTV documentary Backstage With the Bundys. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Mystery of Skull Island
Bud (David Faustino) falls for an "extreme sports"nut named Kara (Bobbie Phillips), who is crazy for such daredevil activities as skydiving and rafting and other things that make the Bundy family cringe. In his efforts to live up to Kara's expectations, Bud nearly stops living altogether. Meanwhile, Peg (Katey Sagal) spends an eventful evening playing the new relationship board game "Ethical Dilemma" with Jefferson (Ted McGinley)--to whom ethics is an alien concept--and Marcy (Amanda Bearse). ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: England Show, Part 2
In the second episode of a three-part story filmed in England (and subtitled "Wastin' the Company's Money), Kelly (Christina Applegate) is alerted to the fact that her dad Al (Ed O'Neill) and brother Bud (David Faustino) are doomed to die the moment they set foot in the village of Upper Uncton, the better to lift the "curse of darkness" that has inflicted the community since 1653. Meanwhile, the D'Arcys (Ted McGinley, Amanda Bearse) seem doomed to spend their entire British vacation looking for their luggage. According to several sources, a scene showing the Bundys looting their London hotel room was removed from the episode in light of the recent LA riots. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Just a Little Off the Top
Suffering from a back injury, Al (Ed O'Neill) enters the hospital for a "circular incision." Unfortunately, the doctors don't read so well, and Al ends up with a circumcision. Ordered to remain--er--sedate for a week, Al had trouble keeping himself under control...especially with all those nudie magazines in the household. Highlights in this episode include Marcy's (Amanda Bearse) mean-spirited "Circumcision Card." ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Peggy and the Pirates
In this elaborate musical fantasy, Peg (Katey Sagal) dreams that she is Princess Scarlet, the captive of fierce pirate Captain Courage, who bears a striking resemblance to Peg's husband Al (Ed O'Neill). As things develop, Captain Courage emerges the hero of the piece by rescuing Scarlet from rival pirate Rubio the Cruel (played by the Bundys' ex-neighbor Steve Rhoades [David Garrison]), so named for his murderous renditions of popular show tunes. Also appearing in Peg's dream are her children Bud (David Faustino) as hunchbacked first mate Fluvio and Kelly (Christina Applegate) as a very confused navigator, not to mention Peg's neighbors Jefferson D'Arcy (Ted McGinley) as Prince Paco and Marcy Darcy (Amanda Bearse) as a cabin...uh...boy. This episode marks the final appearance of child actor Shane Sweet as Seven (and none too soon, according to the series' fans!) ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Take My Wife, Please
Katey Sagal plays a dual role in this episode, as Peg Bundy and as The Grim Reaper "herself." Arriving at the Bundy home to claim Al (Ed O'Neill) on Halloween, the Reaper is unmoved when he suggests that she take the life of Michael Bolton) instead--but she does agree to spare our hero if he can find one Bundy who will say that he or she truly needs him. Elsewhere, Marcy persuades the other Bundys to impersonate the Village People for her Halloween party, with Peg as the Indian, Kelly (Christina Applegate) as the Sailor, Bud (David Faustino) as the Construction Worker, and Guess Who? As the Leather Man. The real Village People (Alexander Briley, David Hodo, Glenn M. Hughes, G. Jeffrey Olson, Felipe Rose and Raymond Simpson) show up in time to perform (what else?) "YMCA" in this Emmy-nominated episode. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Wedding Show
A family wedding is in the offing, and each of the Bundys has a different reaction. Al (Ed O'Neill) daydreams about sexual dalliances while waiting for the service to commence; Peg (Katey Sagal) drives herself crazy choosing a proper outfit; Kelly talks the other bridesmaids into wearing matching black-leather minidresses; and Bud (David Faustino) has a prenuptial fling with bride-to-be Janie (Joey Lauren Adams). According to the network publicity, this is the episode in which Bud loses his virginity--a remarkable biological feat, inasmuch as he had already surrendered his innocence in the earlier episode "Kids! Wadaya Gonna Do?" ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: It Doesn't Get Any Better Than This
Much to his dismay, Al (Ed O'Neill) is joined on a fishing trip by Peg (Katey Sagal) and Marcy (Amanda Bearse). Not surprisingly, he ends up catching absolutely nothing except a lot of flak in his efforts to referee the girls' constant arguments. And back at home, Marcy's hubby Jefferson (Ted McGinley) blithely spends most of his wife's money, with the considerable aid of Al and Peg's children. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Banking on Marcy
Hoping to overcome her fear of speaking in public, Marcy (Amanda Bearse) tries the time-honored tactic of pretending that she is somewhere else. During her next speech before her fellow bankers, her strategy proves successful--far too successful, as Marcy gets carried away in her own bizarre fantasy world. At that, her experience is not nearly so bizarre as Al Bundy's (Ed O'Neill) sudden obsession with rap music. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Change for a Buck
Feeling neglected, the Bundys' dog Buck (voiced by Cheech Martin) runs away from home--only to end up in the pound. If no one claims him within a week, Buck is going to be taken through the "little green door" and gassed to death. Unfortunately, no one in the Bundy family is aware that Buck is gone; they're more concerned with such important matters as Al's physical abuse on the job ("Kneed in the Nay-Nays"!) This is the only episode in which we see the Bundy living room's fabled "fourth wall." ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Luck of the Bundys
The Bundy family enjoys an unexpected streak of fabulous luck. Well, not everyone enjoys the streak: Al Bundy (Al Bundy) is convinced that his unexpected good fortune is merely a manifestation of the family curse. . .which invariably ends with death. Highlights of this episode include a fleeting Twilight Zone reference, and the announcement by Kelly Bundy (Christina Applegate) that her waitressing career has come to an end. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Proud to Be Your Bud
Bud (David Faustino) has conjured up yet another "cool" alter ego from an alternate universe , this one named Billy Ray Bundy (also David Faustino). The Bundys think that Bud's gone berserk when they hear him conversing with Billy Ray--who for his part is reprimanding his "real" self for his lack of success with girls. Elsewhere, Al (Ed O'Neill) nearly goes off the deep end when he tangles with the voice-mail system at "Herb's World of Junk." ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Hood in the Boyz
Debra Engle appears as Mary Ellen, former childhood sweetheart of Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill). When Al agrees to help Mary Ellen fend off a punk (Matt Borlenghi) who has been harassing her, he finds himself targeted for demolition by the punk's vicious street gang. Whatever the outcome of this situation, it's a sure bet that Al's wife Peg (Katey Sagal) will think the worst. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: A Tisket, a Tasket, Can Peggy Make a Basket?
Season Eight of Married. . .With Children gets off to a roaring start as Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill) somehow manages to get hold of some tickets for an all-star charity basketball game. In the course of what follows, Al makes two mistakes: First, he allows Peggy to accompany him to the game; second, he changes seats with Peggy just as that selfsame seat is chosen for the $10,000 Grand Free Throw contest. Appearing more or less as themselves are NBA stars Vlade Divac, Clyde Drexler and Xavier "X Man" McDaniel, Chicago Bulls announcer Ray Clay, and most of the Bulls' cheerleading squad. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Proposition
In this spoof of the theatrical feature Indecent Proposal, Wheel of Fortune's Vanna White guest stars as Al Bundy's former high school classmate Helen Granowitter. Now known to the World as zillionaire cosmetics executive "Coco", Helen is willing to pay Peg Bundy (Katey Sagal) half a million dollars in exchange for one night of unbridled passion with Al (Ed O'Neill)--which, as it turns out, includes eating cheese from his chin! This is the final episode of Married. . .With Children's seventh season. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Wedding Repercussions
In this sequel to the earlier episode The Wedding Show, the Bundys' cousin Jimmy (a young Abraham Benrubi) finds out that someone else slept with his wife Janie on their wedding day. In desperation, Jimmy appeals to Bud (David Faustino) to help him find the guilty party--little suspecting that Bud himself is the very guy he seeks. This episode offers yet another variation on the Bundy Family Credo: "Lie, Sell Shoes, and Lie". ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Dancing with Weezie
Al (Ed O'Neill) and Jefferson (Ted McGinley) have their hearts set on going to a new sports bar to hobnob with celebrity athletes Joe Namath, Johnny Bench and Ernie Banks). Alas, the bar is opening on the same night that Peg (Katey Sagal) and Marcy (Amanda Bearse) want to attend the live "Jeffersons Movin On Up Tour." The result is a loud and outsized brawl--and not just at the sports bar. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: NO MA'AM
When a group of women invade the sanctity of Al's bowling alley and favorite nudie bar, Al (Ed O'Neill) retaliates by creating his own anti-feminist group, the National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood--or NO MA'AM for short. The group's first act is to stage a coup at the TV talk show "The Masculine Feminist", bind and gag host Jerry Springer--yes, THAT Jerry Springer--and deliver their macho manifesto. Dan Tullis Jr. makes his first series appearance as Officer Dan. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Scared Single
Hill Harper makes his first series appearance as Aaron, a recent Polk High graduate who goes to work for his idol, Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill). Rising to the occasion, Al imparts some words of wisdom to his admiring disciple--among them "Don't get married." Meanwhile, Kelly (Christina Applegate), still working for a bug-spray concern as "The Verminator", is sprayed with a new pesticide called "RU Dead 42"--with astonishing results. Rose Jackson, who appears as Angie, was the wife of series cocreator Michael G. Moye. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: You Can't Miss
Desperate for female companionship of any kind, Bud (David Faustino) shows up as a contestant on "You Can't Miss", a TV dating show for "beginners"--and needless to say, the results are astonishing. Meanwhile, oversleeping Kelly can't persuade anyone to tell her what day it is. Watch for a cameo appearance by Playboy centerfold Tiffany Sloan--and yes, that IS future political pundit Bill Maher as one of the "You Can't Miss" bachelors. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Mr. Empty Pants
In a VERY SPECIAL Valentine's Day show, Peg (Katey Sagal) achieves fame by publishing a cartoon of Al (Ed O'Neill) in a magazine. At first upset over being identified as "Mr. Empty Pants", Al is soon basking in the popularity commensurate with being an overnight sex symbol--and even agrees to pose in a Tarzan outfit on a bearskin rug. In addition to a cute reference to the "other" Fox network hit The Simpsons, this episode features a solo appearance by Swedish Bikini Team member Avalon Anders. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Heels on Wheels
Sick and tired of her dead-end job at the diner, Kelly (Christina Applegate) decides to kick up her high heels by buying a motorcycle. Both Peg (Katey Sagal) and Al (Ed O'Neill) are dead set against this purchase, but by episode's end both of Kelly's parents are straddling the cycle themselves--with disastrous results in Al's case. Need we add that this episode includes references to virtually every motorcycle flick ever made, including an excerpt from Brando's The Wild One? ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Old Insurance Dodge
When his dilapidated Dodge is stolen, Al (Ed O'Neill) eagerly awaits an insurance settlement--which, thanks to the machinations of neighbor Jefferson (Ted McGinley), promises to be a lot more than he deserves. In the meantime, Al accepts a number of high-end "loaners", including a brand-new Lincoln Town Car. Elsewhere, Kelly (Christina Applegate). blithely misunderstands what "50 K" means in her search for suitable transportation. If you like "fat jokes" about female celebrities, you've come to the right place. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: 'Tis Time to Smell the Roses
Al (Ed O'Neill) receives a whole year's salary--all twelve thousand dollars--to accept early retirement from the shoe store. Alas, Al's retirement last only long enough for Peggy (Katey Sagal) to squander his money, forcing him to return to work as proprietor of Homeplate Athletic Shoes (with a staff named Habib--both of them). Charlene Tilton makes a cameo appearance as herself, selling the Amazing Abdomenizer door to door. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Till Death Do Us Part
Peg (Katey Sagal) tells Marcy (Amanda Bearse) in STRICTEST CONFIDENCE that Al (Ed O'Neill) isn't so hot in bed. Evidently misconstruing the concept of STRICTEST CONFIDENCE, Marcy proceeds to relay this news to everyone in the neighborhood and the outlying suburbs. Embarrassed, Al vows to get back into tip-top shape for his next boudoir appointment. This episode affords the viewer the first horrifying glimpse of the Bundy basement--not to mention some really "bad hair." ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Movie Show
Birthday girl Kelly (Christina Applegate) breaks a date with current boyfriend Frank (David Boreanaz) when her parents offer to treat her to the movies. As the lights in the theater dim, Kelly spots Frank--arm in arm with another woman! This is the episode in which the cast pokes derisive fun at the closing credits...with the biggest volley of vitriol reserved for the Columbia Pictures "Torch Lady". ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Unalful Entry
When a burglar (Randall "Tex" Cobb) invades the Bundy home in the dead of night, Al (Ed O'Neill) knocks the intruder cold. But comes the dawn, and it is Al who is brought up on charges when the burglar sues. The courtroom insanity that follows is succinctly summed up by Al's daughter Kelly (Christina Applegate): "The prostitution rest." This episode was spotlight in the Fox network "backstage" special A Day in the Life. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Go for the Old
Thanks to another one of those computer glitches which breed like rabbits on Married. . .With Children, Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill) is deemed to be 65 years old--and gets a senior discount card as a result. Angry over this error, Al proceeds to "max out" the card, then participates in a no-holds-barred (and no-prisoners-taken) senior athletic competition. Be sure to stick around for the episode's classic closing narration. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Worst Noel
It's Christmas at the Bundys again, and Kelly (Christina Applegate) and Bud (David Faustino) have purchased a jukebox for their parents. The fun begins when the kids try to smuggle their balky present past Al (Ed O'Neill) and Peg (Katey Sagal), who are enconsed in the living room arguing over the merits and demerits of channel-surfing (not that there's anything on the tube other than an It's a Wonderful Life marathon and a Michael Bolton special). Watch for a VERY SPECIAL episode of "Psycho Dad." ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Field of Screams
A new auto plant is slated to be built on the site of the Polk High School Football Field. Rather than stand by and watch as the site of his gridiron triumphs is bulldozed into oblivion, Al (Ed O'Neill) stages a protest. Meanwhile, Al's daughter Kelly (Christina Applegate), in her professional guise as The Verminator, tests out the new "Springtime in Baghdad" pesticide on Bud (David Faustino) and Buck--with some fascinating side effects (among them an emormous pair of male breasts). Appearing as Sascha is future Buffy the Vampire Slayer regular Julie Benz. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The D'Arcy Files
In this spoof of The X-Files, a mysterious stranger (Robert Mandan) offers Al (Ed O'Neill) $50,000 to help him locate Jefferson D'Arcy (Ted McGinley)--not exactly a daunting assignment, since Jefferson has been living next door to Al for nearly two years. And the reason behind the Stranger's interest? Well, it might be that Jefferson was telling the truth to his wife Marcy (Amanda Bearse) when he claimed that he was once an espionage agent and master of disguise (Peter Lawford was one of his best "covers"!) ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Nooner or Nothing
In order to win a radio contest staged by deejay Rick Dees (as himself), Peg (Katey Sagal) must persuade Al (Ed O'Neill) to come home from work early for a hot-and-heavy "nooner." While all this is going on, Kelly (Christina Applegate) and Bud (David Faustino) languish in a long line for B.B.R. concert tickets. Appearing as Dexter is Chi McBride of Boston Public and The Nine fame. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Ride Scare
Initially resistant to joining a carpool, Al proves more receptive when his travelling companions turn out to be a trio of toothsome lingerie models (Jane Abbott, Shannon K. Dunn, Debra Christofferson). Things take a sharp turn for the worse when Al and the girls are chosen to represent a "Clean Up Chicago" campaign. Meanwhile, "Verminator" Kelly (Christina Applegate) somehow wins the Employee of the Month award. Watch for a throwaway gag involving unlamented former regular Shane Sweet--not to mention a lengthier perusal of onetime Penthouse model Sandra Korn. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Legend of Ironhead Haynes
When he insults one fat female customer too many, Al (Ed O'Neill) is ordered to go for three weeks without "blowing up" on the job--or else! Angry over being persecuted by the minions of Political Correctness, Al and his fellow NO MA'AM members embark upon a long and (needlessly) difficult journey to commiserate with legendary machismo guru Ironhead Haynes (guest star Waylon Jennings), who lays down his "Nine Commandments" of male chauvinism. This episode marks the final appearance of Hill Harper as Aaron. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Sofa So Good
While his parents are out of town for a family reunion, Bud (David Faustino) foolishly allows Kelly (Christina Applegate) to take over the Bundy living room. As a result, Kelly's dimwitted date Gunther (Mark Matheisen) sets fire to Peg's favorite couch. With the folks due home at any moment, a desperate Kelly ventures into the deep, dark woods in search of the extremely weird gentleman (Larry Hankin) who built the ruined couch, hoping to persuade him to produce another one literally overnight. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Honey, I Blew Up Myself
Peg (Katey Sagal) presents Al (Ed O'Neill) with what she regards as the perfect birthday present--a photograph of herself, barely clad and reclining sexily on a sofa. Somehow or other, the photo is enlarged to gargantuan proportions and ends up hanging across the street from Al's shoe store. Swallowing his masculine pride, Al prevails upon Marcy (Amanda Bearse) to organize a demonstration against the lurid photo, harnessing the stridency of Marcy's group Feminists Against Neanderthal Guys--or FANG for short. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: How Green Was My Apple
When an apple on the Bundys' tree is seen hanging over the D'Arcy's yard, a battle royal ensues between the two neighboring families. In fine Laurel and Hardy tradition, the hostilities begin with a few small volleys designed to embarrass but not injure. Before long, however, the tit-for-tat warfare gets out of hand, and the results are truly explosive. Highlights in this episode include a pointed reference to Ted Danson's recent embarrassing blackface turn, as well as cameo appearances by sitcom favorites Danny Bonaduce, Dave Madden and Gary Coleman (the latter going ballistic when someone mentions that he looks like himself!) ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Valentine's Day Massacre
In this "Special Valentine's Sextravaganza" (to quote the original TV Guide ads, Kelly (Christina Applegate) belatedly remembers to hand over a Valentine's Day card sent to Bud (David Faustino) by someone named Rita. Though it's been several years since the card was posted, Bud is determined to respond to Rita in an appropriate (or even inappropriate) manner. Meanwhile, Al (Ed O'Neill) battles a huge crowd of forgetful husbands as he tries to purchase a gift for Peg at the very last minute. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Dial B for Virgin
Compelled to do community service, Bud eagerly accepts a job at "Virgin Hotline", an emergency call-in service for girls on the verge of surrending their maidenhood. Needless to say, Bud would rather that the callers--er--consult him first before doing anything rash. Meanwhile, Al and Peg conduct a fruitless search for a good movie at the local video store, which apparently stocks nothing but garbage like Dutch (starring some guy named Ed O'Neill) and such X-rated goodies as Forrest Hump! ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Sleepless in Chicago
Jefferson (Ted McGinley) buys a Barbie doll for his wife Marcy (Amanda Bearse), only to find out that the doll is worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. When his efforts fail to persuade Marcy to exchange the doll for a less valuable duplicate, Jefferson schemes to steal Barbie while Marcy sleeps--and to do this, he begs Al (Ed O'Neill) to "sub" for him in bed! Though Al is repelled by the notion of being in such close contact with the woman whom he hates more than any other woman on earth, he can't resist the reward dangled before him: A first-edition copy of the popular girlie mag "Big 'Uns". ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: No Pot to Pease In
Though Kelly (Christina Applegate) loses an audition for a sitcom role, the producer (George Wyner) is impressed by her impromptu description of the Bundy clan. As a result, the sitcom is rewritten to resemble a certain extremely popular Fox series about a dysfunctional family living in Chicago--and take a look at that cast! Inside jokes abound in this classic entry, including a pointed reference to housewife-activist Terry Rakolta, a swipe at the Fox network's low-power UHF affiliate lineup, and a clever amalgam of the names of series creators Ronald Leavitt and Michael G. Moye. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Assault and Batteries
Heading to the mall to exchange some batteries, Al (Ed O'Neill) is trapped in an appliance store thanks to a computer failure. If he doesn't get out soon, he'll miss the VERY SPECIAL birthday party planned for the Bundy's dog Buck by Kelly (Christina Applegate) and Bud (David Faustino). Jean Speegle Howard, the mother of filmmaker Ron Howard), appears briefly in this episode, filmed in 3-D as part of a one-hour "Fox-o-Rama" special which also included a stereoscopic installment of The George Carlin Show. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Al Goes Deep
Jefferson (Ted McGinley things he's got a sure thing when he places a bet on a college football game. Unfortunately, star quarterback Chad (Curnal Aulisio) is put out of commission thanks to an over-amorous Kelly (Christina Applegate). Thus it is that former football hero Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill) must "suit up" for the first time in 30 years--while wife Peg (Katey Sagal) stays at home to try out a new bon-bon recipe. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Dud Bowl
Once again, Al (Ed O'Neill) shoots off his big mouth, and the result is a grudge match between his alma mater Polk High School and longtime rival Onassis High. Unfortunately, the opposing lineup includes such NFL stars as John S. "Hacksaw" Reynolds, Bubba Snith, Ken "The Snake" Stabler and Lawrence Taylor. As a result, ex-gridiron favorite Al is reduced to the status of tackling dummy--with emphasis on "dummy". ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: A Man For No Seasons
For full appreciation of this episode, it should be noted that it was originally telecast during a particularly contentious Major League baseball strike. Yearning for the sound of the crack of a bat and the roar of a crowd, Al's all-male organization NO MA'AM organizes a blue-collar baseball league, underwritten by several of the country's better nudie bars. The resulting team names include the Chicago Cleavage, the Boston Bazooms, and the Buffalo Bodacious Ta-Tas. Without any further elaboration, be it noted that real-life baseball stars Mike Piazza, Bret Saberhagen, Danny Tartabull, Frank Thomas and Dave Winfield appear as themselves--and also watch for the scene in which the entrepreneurial Al is interviewed by sportscaster Joe Martin. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: I Want My Psycho Dad
No synopsis available.
Married... With Children: I Want My Psycho Dad, Second Blood
In the conclusion of a two-part story, Al (Ed O'Neill) and his NO MA'AM group continue their protest against the cancellation of the TV series "Psycho Dad." With the help of neighbor Jefferson (Ted McGinley), Al is able to plead his case before the US Senate. Ironically, this episode was originally intended to air during Married. . .With Children's eighth season, but was postponed until Season Nine because of an ongoing Congressional probe of excessive violence on TV! ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Get Outta Dodge
Just as he is prepared to sell his old Dodge, Al (Ed O'Neill) is approached by an auto executive who offers him a chance to appear in a commercial--with a bikini model by his side--in which the Bundy's car hits the One Million Mile mark. Now it is up to Al to keep both the car and himself alive for the occasion, lest he lose his opportunity to drive home in a brand-new Viper. Elsewhere, Kelly (Christina Applegate) doesn't quite understand that "Where's Waldo" is a game and not a lifelong quest. This episode was trimmed for syndication after September 11, 2001, to remove an ominous reference to sabotage at the Sears Tower. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Kelly Knows Something
Told he hasn't got enough "personality" to appear on a TV sports-trivia game show, Al (Ed O'Neill) trains his daughter Kelly (Christina Applegate) to take his place. Unfortunately, Kelly's brain capacity is such that she can't handle the onslaught of new information--in fact, all of her "old thoughts" are spilling all over the place (including her memories of her unlamented foster brother Seven [Shane Sweet]). American Gladiators host Todd Christensen appears in this final episode of Married. . .With Children's eighth season, which may represent the last time that an American sitcom invoked the name of O.J. Simpson without mentioning you-know-what (since "you-know-what" hadn't happened yet!) ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Shoeway to Heaven
"The Episode You Thought You'd Never See"--mainly, an episode in which one of the Bundys' get-rich-quick schemes actually pays off--is how TV Guide heralded the opening of Married. . .With Children's ninth season. The moneymaking gambit adopted by Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill) and neighbor Jefferson D'Arcy (Ted McGinley) is triggered by the discovery of a cache of fashionable shoes from the 1970s. In a twinkling, Al's shoe store has been transformed into the "retro" establishment "Bundy's House of Sole." Elsewhere, Kelly (Christina Applegate), filming a commercial for "Pest Boys", is bitten by a rare insect, and as a result is capable of speaking only the truth! Hard Copy co-anchor Terry Murphy appears as herself. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Driving Mr. Boondy
Hired by the DMV, Bud (David Faustino) struggles to communicate with long lines of potential drivers, none of whom are remotely familiar with the English language. But Bud's most formidable task is to administer a driving test to his own father Al (Ed O'Neill). Meanwhile, Kelly (Christina Applegate) loses her job as "The Verminator" thanks to the interference of Jefferson D'Arcy (Ted McGinley), compelling Jefferson's wife Marcy (Amanda Bearse) to find employment for Kelly at the bank--a most "revealing" assignment. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Kelly Breaks Out
Kelly (Christina Applegate) thinks she's finally hit the big time when she's hired a commercial spokeswoman for a beer company. Unfortunately, she develops a zit on her forehead just before filming her first ad. Now it's desperation time for Kelly: if "Uncle Sticky's Pimple Potion" doesn't help, she may have to show up on the set with a bag over her head. Elsewhere, Al (Ed O'Neill) joins Jefferson (Ted McGinley) on a quest for...Diana Rigg? ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Naughty But Niece
In his efforts to cram for a scholarship exam, Bud (David Faustino) has a lot of trouble staying awake. During one brief crossover into "Dreamland", Bud thinks that he's having sex with Amber (Juliet Tablak, the 19-year-old niece of neighbor Marcy (Amanda Bearse). Now it behooves Bud to find out if what he imagined has actually occurred. This episode not only marks the series debut of semi-regular Juliet Tablak, but also the first appearance of Harold Sylvester as Al Bundy's coworker Griff. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Business Sucks
In the first episode of a two-part story, Al (Ed O'Neill) incure the wrath of Marcy's (Amanda Bearse) feminist organization FANG when he throws a nursing mother (Cynthia Steele) out of the shoe store. Enraged by FANG's reaction, Al mounts a counterprotest by his own group, NO MA'AM. Betwixt and between the two angry groups, no one bothers to patronize the store. Meanwhile, Al's wife Peg (Katey Sagal in her first Season Nine appearance after maternity leave) encounters unexpected delays while making her way home. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Business Still Sucks
In the conclusion of a two-part story, Al (Ed O'Neill holds firm to his policy of banning nursing moms from Gary's Shoe Store. In order to discourage all female patronage, Al stocks the store with manly-man shoes and other icons of machismo. But his scheme is foiled when the long-unseen "Gary" makes a very surprising appearance. Without giving any more of the plot away, it can be noted that this evening's guest star is actress Janet Carroll. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Guess Who's Coming to Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner
Married. . .With Children opens its tenth season as Bud (David Faustino) moves out of the Bundy household. Dad Al (Ed O'Neill) is delighted that he'll have one less mouth to feed--or at least, he was delighted until he found out that Bud was moving into the Bundy basement. As for Bud's former room, it is now occupied in every sense of the word by Peg's (Katey Sagal) overbearing mom (played by a never-seen Kathleen Freeman), prompting Al to head to Wanker county in hopes of persuading Peg's dad Ephraim (Tim Conway) to reconcile with his wife. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Get the Dodge Outta Hell
En route to Wanker County, the Bundys take the Dodge to Traugott's Car Wash--where the old heap promptly disappears. This is unsettling enough, but it's nothing compared to the family's surprise when their former next-door neighbor Steve Rhodes (David Garrison) appears out of nowhere (Apparently it was a big surprise to the studio audience as well; when Steve comes into camera range, the spectators respond with longest sustained applause ever heard on the series!). Though advertised as Married. . .With Children's 200th episode, this is actually the 199th to be filmed; it was originally shown in tandem with The Best O' Bundy, a retrospective hosted by George Plimpton. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Ship Happens, Part 2
In the conclusion of a two-part story, the Bundys' luxury cruise to the Caribbean is scuttled when the "Sea Dodge" sinks beneath the waves. This leaves Al (Ed O'Neill) and Peg (Katey Sagal) bobbing up and down in a tiny raft, accompanied by Marcy and Jefferson D'Arcy (Amanda Bearse, Ted McGinley), a plump female tourist named Joy (Hannah Eckstein), and the eternally "kvetching" comedian Gilbert Gottfried. And back at home, the Bundy kids weigh the financial offers made by several news outlets to "tell all" about their parents' ordeal at sea. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Something Larry This Way Comes
Kelly (Christina Applegate) is thrilled when she is accepted for enrollment at the Larry Storch School of Acting; after all, she insists, she has always wanted to be a "lesbian" (try "thespian", stupid). It is even more thrilling when Larry Storch himself allows Kelly to do a dramatic scene with him. Alas, Kelly's career may be over before it begins when Storch is accidentally knocked cold by Al's boss Gary (Janet Carroll). ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: And Bingo Was Her Game-O
Peggy (Katey Sagal) wins $10,000 in a bingo tournament on the same night that Al's group NO MA'AM calls an emergency meeting to choose a new official beer. The result: Al (Ed O'Neill) drinks so much that he forgets to pick up Peg, who must spend all her winnings for carfare home (what a tip THAT must have been!). The supporting cast in this episode features the mother and brother of filmmaker Ron Howard. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Love Conquers Al
In a last-ditch effort to bring Peg's parents back together, Al (Ed O'Neill) and Peg (Katey Sagal) join Mr. and Mrs. Wanker for a therapeutic weekend at Dr. Richelieu's Love Compound and Water Park (future Frasier regular Edward Hibbert plays the Doc). Back at home, wealthy Carlos (Mark Espinoza) agrees to date Kelly (Christina Applegate) only if Bud (David Faustino) will keep Carlo's virginal sister Esmerelda (Christina Solis) company. Suffice to say that Esmerelda's--er--status changes dramatically by episode's end. (Trivia note: in the original TV Guide ads, Esmerelda was identified as Carlos' cousin). ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Bearly Men
Fed up with providing room and board for Peg's mom, the Bundys head to Wanker country hoping to persuade Peg's father Ephraim (Tim Conway) to patch things up with his wife. Ephraim agrees, but only if Al (Ed O'Neill) and Bud (David Faustino) will prove their salt by going on a bear hunt. The upshot of all this macho intrigue is a wild climactic sequence wherein all of Chicago is terrorized by a "dead" bruin. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Dud Bowl II
Marcy (Amanda Bearse) is appalled when the bank where she works (Kyoto National) announces plans to donate a scoreboard to Polk High School--to be named after the school's greatest football hero, Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill). Determined to cheat Al of this honor, Marcy thinks she has found a loophole when she discovers that former Super Bowl champ Terry Bradshaw once attended Polk High for two whole months. Listen as the studio audience cheers when Bradshaw (as himself) invokes memories of the "immaculate reception" of 1972. This episode was originally telecast in tandem with Al Bundy's Sports Spectacular, a montage of sports-related clips from past Married. . .With Children installments hosted by Roy Firestone. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Two That Got Away
After discovering that their fishing-lodge reservation has been claimed by voluptuous film star Shannon Tweed, Al (Ed O'Neill) and Jefferson (Ted McGinley) are unexpectedly handed an opportunity to capitalize on the situation when Jefferson takes a picture of a nude Sharon in a compromising hot-tub situation--which the boys then proceed to auction off to the tabloids. Elsewhere, Bud (David Faustino) and Kelly (Christina Applegate) help their dog Lucky prepare for a dog-food commercial, but it is Kelly who ends up doing "stupid human tricks". Featured in the cast are Joe Sagal, the brother of series star Katey Sagal (Peg), and former Playboy centerfolds Shae Marks and Donna D'Errico. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Blonde and Blonder
Attending their five-year high school reunion, Kelly (Christina Applegate) and her best friend Jessica (Sarah Ann Morris) are shocked to discover that onetime classroom nerd Eric (Casper Van Dien) is now a handsome hunk--and a millionaire to boot. Once the girls have recovered, they fall over themselves trying to win Eric's heart. . .while Kelly does everything in her power to make Eric forget that she once stood him up on New Year's Eve. Meanwhile, the Bundys don't quite understand the purpose of Marcy's "guns for toys" drive. Seen in this episode as Bud's girlfriend Ashley is former Playboy centerfold Heidi Mark. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Flight of the Bumblebee
In order to become a member of Al's macho NO MA'AM organization, Bud (David Faustino) must go through an initiation ritual that is seemingly dreamed up on the spot. Bud's challenge is to crash the nationally televised "WrestlePalooza" match and get his picture taken with the legendary King Kong Bundy (no relation, of course). The result: Dressed in an idiotic bumblebee costume, Bud finds himself squaring off against Bundy in a no-holds-barred grappling match! ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Shoeless Al
After being tied up by a burglar at the shoe store, Al (Ed O'Neill) claims to be so traumatized by the experience that he is afraid to wear shoes. Actually, this is a clever ploy to bilk an insurance company out of thousands of dollars. Unfortunately for Al, a relentless insurance agent dogs his trail to make certain that he is truly incapable of donning shoes--and even more unfortunately, Al is slated to bowl in a tournament where the judges frown upon barefoot contests. The two traditional Queen sports-event songs (YOU know the titles), heard in the network version of this episode, were replaced by stock music in the syndicated version. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Requiem for a Dead Briard
Alas, poor Buck! The Bundy's pet dog has shuffled off his mortal coil and ascended to the Animal Afterlife. As Buck's spirit nervously awaits sentence for his past crimes from jury of disgruntled animals, Kelly (Christina Applegate) mourns over the death of her pet. In hopes of making contact with Buck one last time, the Bundys arrange a séance conducted by Father Guido Sarducci (Don Novello). This episode introduces the new family pooch Lucky--who isn't all that Lucky when one considers that he is actually a reincarnation of Guess Who. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: 25 Years and What Have You Got?
It's the Bundys' 25th anniversary, and Al (Ed O'Neill) celebrates the occasion by buying his wife Peggy (Katey Sagal) a diamond necklace--which is promptly buried in the backyard by family dog Buck. Meanwhile, Peg decides to give herself a little present by going to a luxurious spa, where she and Marcy (Amanda Bearse) are bowled over by a handsome attendant. Despite the Fox network's claims to the contrary, this is the 200th episode of Married. . .With Children. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: I Can't Believe It's Butter
Al (Ed O'Neill) has come up with the perfect Christmas present for his co-worker Griff (Harold Sylvester): twenty free minutes on the phone-sex line 1-900-YUMMY. Before long, Griff is not only "hooked" on the service, but he has fallen in love with the velvet-voiced operator "Butter." Little does Griff realize that the unseen Butter is actually Al's behemoth mother-in-law (Kathleen Freeman)--but Al knows this fact only too well! ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Radio Free Trumaine
Trumain College student Bud (David Faustino) endeavors to steal his dream girl April (a pre-Felicity Keri Russell) away from her football-jock boyfriend Nickolai (Timothy Elwell). He gets his chance in a roundabout fashion when campus-radio deejays Oliver Cole (Eric Dane) and Mark Campbell (Andrew Kovavit) are kicked off station W-HIP for revealing a few inconvenient truths about dean Steve Rhodes (David Garrison), in his final series appearance). This episode was intended as the pilot for a spinoff series starring Eric Dane and Andrew Kovavit, which unfortunately never came to fruition. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Ship Happens, Part 1
In the first episode of a two-part story, fabled deejay Wolfman Jack arrives at the Bundy home to inform Peg (Katey Sagal) that she has won a low-budget Caribbean cruise on the "Sea Dodge." In an instant, Peg and Al (Ed O'Neill) have boarded the luxury liner in the company of neighbors Marcy and Jefferson--while the luckless Wolfman Jack is left behind to look after the Bundy kids. The outcome of this episode is hinted at in the original Fox promotional copy, which promised "A Titanic Adventure." ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Naked and the Dead, but Mostly the Naked
Peg (Katey Sagal) and her lady friends decide to find out just what it is that attracts their husbands to "The Jiggly Room", a local nudie bar. Al (Ed O'Neill) is upset by Peg's intrusion upon his macho sanctum sanctorum, but is downright appalled when his wife decides to strut her own stuff on the Jiggly Room stage. Meanwhile, Kelly (Christina Applegate) may have trouble holding on to her latest commercial acting assignment for a weight-loss product. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: A Shoe Room With a View
Anticipating a cornucopia of sexy "eye candy", Al (Ed O'Neill) persuades his boss Gary (Janet Carroll) to open up an aerobics studio next door to the shoe store. Unfortunately, the studio's clientele is comprised entirely of women who are "metabolically challenged"--a new P.C. term for "fat as pigs." In hopes of attracting a more curvaceous flock of females, Al prevails upon Kelly (Christina Applegate) to talk her handsome boyfriend Ramon (Marco Sanchez) into getting a job as an aerobics instructor. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Reverend Al
Al (Ed O'Neill) and his buddies try to weasel out of paying beer tax by organizing "The Church of NO MA'AM." Donning an ostentatious pompadour, "Reverend Al" spreads his gospel as a televangelist on Channel 83, asking for donations from the Faithful. An outraged Marcy (Amanda Bearse) plans to expose Al as a fraud with a series of incriminating photos--a plan which backfires when Al wins public sympathy by pulling a "Jimmy Swaggart". . .tears and all. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: How Bleen Was My Kelly
Kelly (Christina Applegate) makes cosmetic history when, while researching her acting role as a scientist, she combines blood and spleen--and invents the color Bleen. Subsequently, Al (Ed O'Neill) discovers that Bleen has capacity to grow hair on the baldest of bald men...but not without devastating consequences. Watch for the extended parody of Michael Jackson's "Black or White" video. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Weaker Sex
Al (Ed O'Neill) scoffs when Peg (Katey Sagal) and Marcy (Amanda Bearse) enroll in a self-defense class, dismissing all women as weaklings. But the tables are turned when Peg beats up a pickpocket while Al watches helplessly from the sidelines. Mocked by the media (one headline reads "CHOP-SOCKY MAMA SAVES WUSSY-HUBBY'S WALLET") and treated like a leper by his male buddies, Al takes desperate measures to reassert his manhood. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Pump Fiction
Camera in hand, aspiring moviemaker Kelly (Christina Applegate) follows her dad Al (Ed O'Neill) around during a typical day at the shoe store. The result is the stirring documentary "SHEOS" (well, heck, no one should expect an "auteur" to know how to spell). The film proves so impressive that the National Endowment of the Arts offers Kelly $10,000 to make a sequel, whereupon Al proposes his own personal epic, replete with bikini girls. This episode was originally shown in tandem with My Favorite Married, a half-hour special in which the cast of Married. . .With Children introduced clips from their favorite episodes. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: User Friendly
In his efforts to figure out the function of a mysterious light switch, Al (Ed O'Neill) ends up pulling miles and miles of wire from behind the Bundy walls. Meanwhile, Bud gets hooked on a V.R. sex experiment, enjoying a cyberspace rendezvous with his dream girl Amber (Juliet Tablak). Featured in the cast as Sandy is Elaine Hendrix, at that time the girlfriend of series regular David Faustino. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Kelly Takes a Shot
Hoping to scare off the noisy bird that has kept him awake for several nights, Al (Ed O'Neill) disguises himself as a gigantic owl. At the same time, Bud (David Faustino) helps Kelly (Christina Applegate) audition for a commercial in which she must use a bow and arrow. Just guess how these two separate plotlines converge! And also listen for the Abbott-and-Costello exchange ("Not huh, who!") between Al and Marcy (Amanda Bearse). ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Undergraduate
Kelly (Christina Applegate) is stalked by a fervent admirer named Robbie (Noah Segan), who is wealthy enough to threaten the destruction of her acting career unless she does his bidding. Turns out that Robbie is all of 12 years old--and he wants Kelly to escort him to his junior prom (or failing that, to take him to a performance of that classic opera "La Boheme", or "L.A. Boom", or whatever). This is the final episode of Married. . .With Children's ninth season. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Bud Hits the Books
Bud (David Faustion) will not graduate from Trumaine if he can't pass the finals, but his efforts to study are constantly thwarted by his preoccupation with sex. Even though he has agreed to remain "chaste" for the duration of the exams, Bud is bombarded with carnal messages and temptations of the flesh at every turn. Finally he can stand no more, and "gives in" in a library study room--right in front of a battery of surveillance cameras! Katey Sagal (Peggy) does not appear in this episode. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Enemies
In a spoof of the popular NBC sitcom Friends, Kelly (Christina Applegate) goes out with delivery guy Tom (Matt Borlenghi), who is trying to get even with his regular girl Shannon (Nicole Eggert). In retaliation, Shannon agrees to date a middle-aged millionaire named Henry (Alan Thicke). Both couples end up at a cheap diner, where they do their best to "out-sex" each other. This episode, in which series regular Katey Sagal (Peggy) does not appear, was intended as the pilot for an unsold Married. . .With Children spinoff starring Nicole Eggert and Matt Borlenghi. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Al Goes to the Dogs
When Al (Ed O'Neill) starts building a doghouse for Lucky, next-door neighbor Marcy (Amanda Bearse) informs a building inspector (Ian Patrick Williams), who steadfastly refuses to issue Al a permit unless the little house is "up to code." With the help of daughter Kelly's rich boyfriend Carlos, Al labors day and night to construct the doghouse according to the rules--even unto adding a handicapped-parking slot! Katey Sagal (Peggy) does not appear in this episode. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: God Help Ye, Merry Bundymen
The temporary holiday helpers at the shoe store do such good jobs that Al (Ed O'Neill) and Griff (Harold Sylvester) are fired, forcing them seek other employment while wandering around the mall (at one point, they sit on a bench with a sign reading "Will Stop Singing for 25 Cents)". Back at home, Peg (Katey Sagal) hopes to win a neighborhood Christmas-decoration contest with some "gingerbread art", while Bud (David Faustino) and Kelly (Christina Applegate) celebrate Yuletide by stealing Mary and Joseph from the D'Arcy's elaborate Nativity display. Series story editor Christian McLaughlin is seen as a "reindeer dancer" (huh?) ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Juggs Have Left the Building
Vacationing in Branson, Missouri (they've taken the Ned Beatty Sutie at the Deliverance Hotel), Peg (Katey Sagal) and Kelly (Christina Applegate) somehow win a talent contest, and with it the opportunity to open for Tammy Wynette (playing herself). Donning the traditional "big hair", Peg insists that she and Kelly be billed as a sister act: The Juggs. Katey Sagal and Christina Applegate sing the Juggs'--er, the Judds'--"Rockin' With the Rhythm of the Rain". ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: A Bundy Thanksgiving
Al (Ed O'Neill) is desperate for a slice of Aunt Maddie's Thanksgiving pie; problem is, Aunt Maddie has died. There is no other recourse for Al than to crash the old lady's funeral, where he makes a rather startling discovery. Meanwhile, Bud (David Faustino) and the D'Arcys (Ted McGinley, Amanda Bearse) would like to get their hands on Kelly's (Christina Applegate) pet turkey--who ultimate meets a fate which will be "old stuff" for fans of the vintage sitcom WKRP in Cincinnati. Fox sportscasters James Brown, Terry Bradshaw, Howie Long and Ronnie Lott appear in the episode's surrealistic coda. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Requiem for a Chevyweight, Part 2
In the conclusion of a two-part story, Al (Ed O'Neill) tries to adjust to the fact that the family Dodge has bitten the dust. Leasing a brand new car, Al finds out that he's stuck with. . .well, it's a small yellow fruit with a very sour taste. Meanwhile, Peg (Katey Sagal) digs up the Dodge's corpse in order to sell the engire to a mysterious overseas buyer. This episode marks one of the rare American TV appearances by Fidel Castro (or a reasonable facsimile). ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Requiem for a Chevyweight, Part 1
Married. . .With Children moved from its new Saturday-night slot to its familiar Sunday-evening environs for this first episode of a two-part story. When the family Dodge begins showing signs of deterioration--or to be precise, more signs than usual--Al begins waxing nostalgic about the "good times" he's had in the vehicle. To mollify Al, the Bundys pretend to embark upon a worldwide search for a new fuel pump. Versatile voiceover actress Hannah Swanson appears as a younger version of Kelly Bundy (Christina Applegate) in a flashback sequence. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Turning Japanese
Hoping to get a promotion at the Kyoto National Bank (Chicago branch), Marcy (Amanda Bearse) invites the bank's owner, Mr. Shimokawa (Pat Morita of Karate Kid fame), to a traditional Japanese dinner. But Shimokawa will agree to the promotion only if he can get his hands on the "classic" Dodge owned by Marcy's mortal enemy Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill). Once he finds out how valuable his old heap has become, Al levies a series of very costly demands upon the hapless Marcy. Katey Sagal (Peggy) does not appear in this episode. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Spring Break, Part 2
In the conclusion of a two-part story, Kelly (Christina Applegate) arrives in Fort Lauderdale, where she immediately enters the "Miss Spring Break" bikini contest judged by Jefferson (Ted McGinley). Hoping to cop the $10,000 prize, Al (Ed O'Neill) and Griff (Harold Sylvester) offer their services as co-judges, with Al going to great and ridiculous lengths to hide the fact that he's Kelly's father. But his little scheme may be foiled when Jefferson's wife Marcy (Amanda Bearse) shows up in Lauderdale with blood in her eye. Katey Sagal (Peggy) does not appear in this episode. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Hood, The Bud and the Kelly, Part 1
In the first episode of a two-part story, Peg (Katey Sagal) and Marcy (Amanda Bearse) prepare to administer first aid when Al (Ed O'Neill) and Jefferson (Ted McGinley) head to the roof to install a satellite dish. Meanwhile, Bud (David Faustino) borrows money from a shady character named Vito Capone (Perry Anzilotti)--whose phone number is 1-500-HORSE-HEAD--to finance an exercise video starring Kelly (Christina Applegate) and her latest boyfriend Raphael (John Carlos Frey). Alas, the "stars" have a fight and cancel the video. . .whereupon Vito threatens to separate Bud from his life! ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Kelly's Gotta Habit
Nancy Linari guest stars as Sister Benedicta, a no-nonsense nun whose mission in life is to make certain that Kelly (Christina Applegate) is living up to the morals clause in her new TV-commercial contract. Meanwhile,the crew of the longrunning (or should we say "never-ending"?) Fox series Cops follows Officer Dan (Dan Tullis Jr.) on his appointed rounds--with Al going along for the ride. This episode was originally shown in tandem with an actual installment of Cops--"Bad Boys" theme music and all. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Children of the Corns
This episode is a spoof of a famous "sweatshop" scandal involving the franchised consumer products of a certain popular female TV talkshow host (are we being obscure enough here?) In their efforts to win a huge raise, Al (Ed O'Neill) and Griff (Harold Sylvester) resort to blackmail when they discover that their boss Gary is using illegal aliens to manufacture her shoes. Unfortunately, the plan fizzles (despite an extended takeoff of the Mission: Impossible films), and Al's son Bud (David Faustino) ends up atoning for his dad's sins. Meanwhile, Peggy (Katey Sagal) goes to elaborate lengths to hide the fact that she's bought a microwave. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Crimes Against Obesity
Having made plans to spend his birthday ogling the nude dancers at "The Jiggle Room", Al (Ed O'Neill) is instead hauled into court by an overweight female customer whom he has repeatedly insulted in the past. Even worse, Al is besieged (and almost smothered!) by the outraged members of "Female Large American Beauties" (catch the initials). Elsewhere, the Bundy kids plan to surprise Al by tinting the windows of the Dodge, but the project get a bit out of hand. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Twisted
Moving from its longtime Sunday-night timeslot to a Saturday-evening berth, Married. . .With Children launched its eleventh and final season on September 28, 1996 with an extended takeoff of the then-current film hit Twister. Bud Bundy (David Faustino) fakes a tornado in order to frighten his girl Ariel (Jennifer Lyons) into his arms--and, hopefully, into the sack. Alas, a real tornado foils this scheme, forcing the Bundys and the D'Arcys to take shelter in Bud's bedroom. This episode was slightly edited for content when it entered off-network syndication, but was subsequently seen intact on the FX cable channel. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Joke's On Al
It's Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill) vs, Jefferson D'Arcy (Ted McGinley) in a no-holds-barred practical joke contest. With this in mind, Al thinks that Jefferson is merely pulling his leg when a woman (Deborah Harmon) claiming to be an old friend of his wife Peg (Katey Sagal) suddenly begins "coming on" to him. As it turns out, however, the "friend" is actually an old enemy who intends to get even with Peg by stealing Al--even if she has to marry him! And can it be that Al's coworker Griff (Harold Sylvester) is doomed to roast in the electric chair? This final episode of Married. . .With Children's tenth season was originally shown in tandem with the previous nstallment, "Torch Song Duet". ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Torch Song Duet
Banned from participating in a radio sports quiz, Al (Ed O'Neill) feeds his answers to his coworker Griff (Harold Sylvester). As a result, Griff wins a trip to the 1996 Summer Olympics, as well as the opportunity to carry the Olympic torch from Chicago to Altanta. This sparks a huge fight between Al and Griff, which reaches its climax when the media shows up at the shoe store--and culminates in a spectacular "dousing." Several professional athletes make guest appearances as themselves, as do former Playboy centerfolds (Renee Tenison, Petra Verkiak and Victoria Fuller. Katey Sagal (Peggy) does not appear in this episode, which originally aired in tandem with the Season Ten finale "The Joke's On Al". ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Kiss of the Coffee Woman
In this spoof of a popular mid-1990s TV advertising campaign, erstwhile talent agent Bud (David Faustino) arranges for Kelly (Christina Applegate) and Jefferson (Ted McGinley) to costar in a coffee commercial. The ad proves to be a huge hit with the public--so much so that the agency demands that Kelly and Jefferson exchange a kiss in their next appearance. Naturally, Kelly's dad Al (Ed O'Neill) and Jefferson's wife Marcy (Amanda Bearse) are dead set against this display of public affection, so Bud tries to mollify them by inviting them to the filming...where, unbeknownst to him, a conjugal bed is a prominent fixture of the set! Katey Sagal (Peggy) does not appear in this episode. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Spring Break, Part 1
In the first episode of a two-part story, Bud (David Faustino) and his frat brothers are foiled in their plan to spend Spring Break in Fort Lauderdale when Kelly (Christina Applegate) and her gal pals turn on the charm and gyp the guys out of their plane tickets and hotel reservations. Meanwhile, Al (Ed O'Neill) and Griff (Harodl Sylvester) elect to head to Lauderdale when it turns out the Jefferson is going to be a judge for the "Miss Spring Break" bikini contest. Unfortunately, Marcy (Amanda Bearse) catches on to what Jefferson is up to, and she also sets out for Florida to break up the party. Katey Sagal (Peggy) does not appear. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Agony and the Extra C
Marcy (Amanda Bearse) had hoped that Jefferson (Ted McGinley) would spend an intimate evening with her for their anniversary, but instead he parties on with Al (Ed O'Neill) and the guys at the local nudie bar, "The Jiggly Room." Drunk as a skunk, Jefferson decides to honor his wife by getting an "I LOVE MARCY" tattoo. Unfortunately, the tattoo artist is just as blotto as everyone else at party--and the "love letter" on Jefferson's epidermis winds up reading "I LOVE MARY." ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Calendar Girl
Al (Ed O'Neill) and rival shoestore owner Floyd Babcock (Victor Raider-Wexler) battle each other to help their respective sons Bud (David Faustino) and Little Floyd (John Patrick White) complete a business-class project. But when Bud hires his girlfiend Crystal (Krista Allen of "Emmanuelle" fame) as the bikini-clad cover girl for his "Women of Trumaine College" calendar, Al and Floyd join forces to distribute the calendar on a national basis--whereupon Crystal suddenly develops cold...er...feet. With this episode, Katey Sagal begins curtailing her tenth-season Married. . .With Children) appearances in order to take maternity leave. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Hood, The Bud and the Kelly, Part 2
In the conclusion of a two-part story, mobster Vito Capone (Perry Anzilotti) threatens to bump off Bud (David Faustino) unless the exercise video starring Kelly (Christina Applegate) and Raphael (John Carlos Frey) is finished by 5 PM. Unfortunately, Kelly and Raphael aren't speaking to each other--and when they DO speak, they nearly get Married. . .With Children knocked off the network. Meanwhile, Peg and Marcy are can't understand why Al and Jefferson are taking so long installing a satellite dish...little realizing that every husband in the neighborhood is using the Bundy roof as a refuge from their wives!. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Grime and Punishment
When Al (Ed O'Neill) begins charging Bud (David Faustino) rent for living in the basement, Bud complains that his room is not up to building-code standards and demands that repairs be made. Naturally, Al refuses, whereupon a local health inspector (Marianne Muellereile) swoops down and forces "Slum Lord Bundy" to live in Bud's room until he fixes the place up. Beyond this, the episode's highlight is Kelly's (Christina Applegate) impersonation of Al. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Breaking Up Is Easy to Do, Part 2
In Part Two of a three-part story (originally intended as a two-parter), Al (Ed O'Neill) moves into a tiny apartment near O'Hare Field after splitting up with Peg (Katey Sagal). Though Al's life is in the toilet, Peg is enjoying herself immensely, even going to a singles bar where she hits it off with a handsome stranger named Bruce (Alan Thicke). If only Al hadn't shown up to see Peg and Bruce's cozy little tete-a-tete... ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Stepford Peg
Married. . .With Children moved from Sunday to Monday evening for this episode, which though taped as the 11th season opener was not seen until halfway through the year. When Peg (Katey Sagal) develops amnesia, Al (Ed O'Neill) capitalizes on the situation by reprogramming her as the perfect, obedient housewife--much to the chagrin of next-door neighbor Marcy (Amanda Bearse. Ron-Ann Frey guest stars as the professional-wrestling "ring girl" hired by Peg during her alternate existence. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: How to Marry a Moron
Although dimwitted Lonnie (Charles Esten) has only recently held the Bundy family hostage, Kelly Bundy (Christina Applegate) has fallen madly in love with him--and in fact wants to become his bride. Al (Ed O'Neill) is dead set against the union, rightly summing up Lonnie as a faithless fool, but he changes his mind when he discover that the boy's father (Gordon Jump) is a millionaire. Originally telecast back-to-back with the previous episode "The Desperate Half-Hour", this final-first run Married. . .With Children installment has all the earmarks of a pilot for a spinoff starring Christina Applegate and Charles Esten--until Al throws a monkey wrench in the works in the last few seconds! ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: 'Lez Be Friends
Amanda Bearse plays a dual role in this episode as Marcy D'Arcy and her (almost) lookalike cousin Mandy. Much to Marcy's dismay, Mandy proves to be a kindred spirit to Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill); both are crazy about beer and professional sports. And much to Al's surprise, he and Mandy share something else: a fondness for beautiful young girls. The entertainment value of this episode was enhanced back in 1997 by the viewer's knowledge that actress Amanda Bearse had publicly "outed" herself several years earlier. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Desperate Half-Hour
The Bundys and the D'Arcys find themselves held hostage when Bud's (David Faustino) prison pen pal Starla (Tricia Cast) breaks out of jail with the help of her dimbulb boyfriend Lonnie (Charles Esten). The suspense of the situation is mitigated somewhat when Lonnie and Kelly (Christina Applegate) fall in love--two brains without a single thought. This episode was originally shown in a one-hour timeslot with the Married. . .With Children series finale "How to Marry a Moron". ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Breaking Up Is Easy to Do, Part 3
In the conclusion of a three-part story (originally intended as a two-parter), Bud (David Faustino) and Kelly (Christina Applegate) welcome the news that Peg (Katey Sagal) has dumped Al (Ed O'Neill) and is slated to wed a cool guy named Bruce (Alan Thicke). But the kids change their tune when they find out that Bruce intends to force them both to find jobs. Meanwhile, Al stands quietly by on the sidelines, hoping that this situation will turn to his advantage--without his having to exert himself. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: T*R*A*S*H
Series star David Faustino (Bud Bundy) cowrote this episode, originally titled "An Officer and a Garbage Man". Still unemployed, Al (Ed O'Neill) and Griff (Harold Sylvester) endeavor to pick up steady money by joining the military reserves. Their first assignment is to uphold the peace at a bitter garbage-workers' strike--and if that doesn't stink enough, the boys' commanding officer is Jefferson D'Arcy (Ted McGinley). ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Damn Bundys
Al (Ed O'Neill) sells his soul to Lucifer (played by Robert Englund of "Freddy Krueger" fame) for a chance to play with the Chicago Bears. Unfortunately for Lucifer, Al rather enjoys living in Hell, so His Satanic Majesty must think up a more distasteful form of damnation--such as an eternity of residing in the Bundy home with Peg and the kids. Initially conceived as a two-parter, this episode was originally a component of the Fox network's "Mask Week", commemorating the network debut of that 1994 Jim Carrey film by outfitting several shows with Mask-like special effects. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Birthday Boy Toy
Marcy (Amanda Bearse) lives to regret giving her husband Jefferson (Ted McGinley) a free membership in her health club. Before long, Jefferson has become the club's star attraction--and also a chick magnate. Meanwhile, Bud (David Faustino) directs Kelly (Christina Applegate) and Al (Ed O'Neill) in a commercial for Gary's shoe store. And a master plan to sell shoeboxes to homeless dwarves begins picking up traction. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: A Babe in Toyland
Aspiring actress Kelly (Christina Applegate) subs for a TV kiddie-show host named Uncle Dudley (Brandon Maggart), whose menagerie of puppets looks suspiciously like the production staff of Married. . .With Children. Kelly scores a huge success in her new role--and predictably, her ego swells to gargantuan proportions. Elsewhere, a major change transpires in the Bundy bedroom. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Live Nude Peg
Banished from the Jiggly Room, Al (Ed O'Neill) and his fellow NO MA'AM members establish their own nudie bar in the Bundy garage. Seeking out dancers at the lowest possible cost, the guys announce an "amateur night." The winning constent is a real hot number wearing little more than a veil, whom Al immediately falls for--never dreaming that the "mystery woman" is his own wife Peg (Katey Sagal) in disguise. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Breaking Up Is Easy to Do, Part 1
In this first episode of a three-part story (originally intended as a two-parter), Al (Ed O'Neill) and Peg (Katey Sagal) split up after a trip to the marriage counselor (Jake Johannsen) exposes several nasty long-held secrets. Peg gets the kids and the house, and Al gets a huge smile on his face--at least temporarily. Elswhere, Kelly (Christina Applegate) trains for a role in a boxing movie. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Chicago Shoe Exchange
Although the previous installment "How to Marry a Moron" was officially designated as the final episode of Married. . .With Children, the series actually ended with this "leftover", which aired five weeks after "Moron" on June 9, 1997. Hoping to barter their way towards an expensive massage chair, Al and Griff begin trading off the items in Gary's shoe store--and never mind that those items don't actually belong to them. Meanwhile, Kelly (Christina Applegate) practices her own massage techniques on her unwilling brother Bud (David Faustino). The series' very last image, appropriately enough, is a shot of a chimpanzee dressed like Al Bundy (so there's a difference?) ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Bud on the Side
Concerned about his son Bud's (David Faustino) bad luck with women, Al (Ed O'Neill) concludes that the boy has set his standards too high. Advising Bud to aim lower--much, much lower--Al has reason to regret his words when Bud gets cozy with Al's boss Gary (Janet Carroll). See this episode and you'll never think about "Pooh and Piglet" in the same way. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
