Synopsis
Includes:
Married... With Children: Christmas (1992)
Married... With Children: The Old College Try (1992)
Married... With Children: Rock of Ages (1992)
Married... With Children: The Chicago Wine Party (1992)
Married... With Children: Every Bundy Has a Birthday (1992)
Married... With Children: T-R-A. . .Something, Something Spells Tramp (1992)
Married... With Children: Frat Chance (1992)
Married... With Children: Death of a Shoe Salesman (1992)
Married... With Children: Kelly Doesn't Live Here Anyone (1992)
Married... With Children: Al on the Rocks (1992)
Married... With Children: Magnificent Seven (1992)
Married... With Children: What I Did For Love (1992)
Married... With Children: The Old Insurance Dodge (1993)
Married... With Children: 'Tis Time to Smell the Roses (1993)
Married... With Children: Till Death Do Us Part (1993)
Married... With Children: Movie Show (1993)
Married... With Children: Unalful Entry (1993)
Married... With Children: Peggy and the Pirates (1993)
Married... With Children: Go for the Old (1993)
Married... With Children: The Proposition (1993)
Married... With Children: Wedding Repercussions (1993)
Married... With Children: You Can't Miss (1993)
Married... With Children: Wedding Show (1993)
Married... With Children: It Doesn't Get Any Better Than This (1993)
Married... With Children: Heels on Wheels (1993)
Married... With Children: Mr. Empty Pants (1993)
Married... With Children: Christmas
After taking a temporary Holiday job as a mall Santa, Al (Ed O'Neill) commiserates with several fellow Ho-Ho-Ho-ers in a bar. As the liquor flows, Al conjures up memories of Christmases past--as well as all the clever methods he has used to avoid buying his family presents. His favorite tactic was to turn all the Bundys against each other just before December 24th--but this year Peg (Katey Sagal) and the kids have forged a united front against this insidious scheme (which has worked like a charm since 1974 at least!) Highlights include two musical numbers: a Bundy-ized variation of "12 Days of Christmas" and the spirited spoof "Bundy the No-Man". ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Old College Try
Somehow landing a grant of $25,000, Bud hopes to finally move out of the Bundy household and into a top college. Well, that MIGHT have happened had not Bud's parents Al (Ed O'Neill) and Peg (Katey Sagal) found and spent the money (and they didn't even bother to warn Bud with a "We're spending our kid's college fund" bumper sticker). This episode appeared the same week that star Katey Sagal showed up on the cover of TV Guide--in a Santa Claus outfit! ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Rock of Ages
Also known as "Married. . .With Children: The Musical", this episode gets under way when a financially strapped Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill) wins a first-class plane ticket to Hawaii in a shoe-selling contest. Quick to cash in on this windfall, the Bundys convert the ticket into four standbys and spend most of their "vacation" disguised as rock stars (it's "Axel" Bundy, dammit!) and lollygagging around in the airport's VIP lodge with several veteran musicians. Appearing as themselves are John Sebastian of The Lovin' Spoonful, Peter Noone of Herman's Hermits, Mark Lindsay of Paul Revere and the Raiders, Robbie Krieger of The Doors, and Richie Havens and Spencer Davis. Song: "Old Aid". ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Chicago Wine Party
The Bundy family heads to the polls for the first time ever to cast their first votes ever. And what is the issue that has got them so aroused? Well, it seems that someone is proposing a two-cent beer tax--or maybe it's a two percent beer tax, depending on which part of the episode you're watching. And if they can't defeat this tax, there's a viable alternative, involving looting and pillaging. . .and maybe drinking. Real-life KNBC reporter Cynthia Allison appears as herself, while Married. . .With Children cocreator Ron Leavitt and executive producer Larry Jacobson make cameo appearances. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Every Bundy Has a Birthday
Peggy (Katey Sagal) chooses a birthday for her "adopted" son Seven--and Al (Ed O'Neill) is none too happy that it is his birthday that has been stolen. Shortly thereafter, Peg tries to throw a birthday party for Seven at a park where another, wealthier client has made a prior claim for his own son's party. This leaves the Bundys "celebrating" on a tiny, miserable patch of cordoned-off sod! ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: T-R-A. . .Something, Something Spells Tramp
Stranded in the woods after giving her date the brush-off, Kelly (Christina Applegate) discusses (and disses) the Male Sex with her likewise stranded gal pals Lorraine (Liz Vassey and D.J. (Dusty Street). Meanwhile, Kelly's mom Peg (Katey Sagal) goes to desperate lengths to find someone to talk to on a weekend night. And Kelly's brother Bud (David Faustino) dates a girl who is not merely attractive--she's downright contagious! ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Frat Chance
Tired of striking out with the girls, Bud (David Faustino) starts his own community-college frat house, A.G.G. (Alpha Gonna Get 'Em). The rest of the membership is comprised of misfits and losers, but Bud has high hopes for the frat's first toga party--which, as it turns out, might have been a blast had any girls shown up. Watch for future Melrose Place costar Jamie Luner as a co-ed. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Death of a Shoe Salesman
Al (Ed O'Neill) hopes to fulfill a lifelong dream in death: He wants to be buried next to his childhood idol, movie-cowboy sidekick Fuzzy McGee, and Fuzzy's mule Dadgummit. This explains why Al has purchased a cemetery plot that does not accommodate wife Peggy (Katey Sagal). The best scene involves a coffin-shopping excursion, with Dan Castellaneta, aka the voice of Homer Simpson, as a funeral director. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Kelly Doesn't Live Here Anyone
Peggy (Katey Sagal) despairs when her daughter Kelly breaks the Wanker Women family tradition by getting a job (actually, Kelly has had several jobs in the past few seasons, by why let a little thing like continuity get in the way of the story?) Landing a position as a waitress, Kelly finds that she gets bigger tips the more she dishes out philosophy. Series regular Amanda Bearse, who directed this episode, does not appear. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Al on the Rocks
In her efforts to prove herself a worthy mother (and about time!), Peggy (Katey Sagal) spends the mortgage money on her "adopted" son Seven's doctor bills. Taking things several steps farther, she exiles her own kids from the Bundy house to keep Seven (Shane Sweet) from catching cold. Meanwhile, a financially strapped Al moonlights as a bartender in a topless club--where he's the one who is topless (that is, he keeps his head, but not his shirt). ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Magnificent Seven
"Get ready for a new generation in misery" was the ad tagline as Married. . .With Children launched its seventh season. In the tradition of the ill-fated "Oliver" on The Brady Bunch, Shane Sweet joins the regular cast in the role of a 5-year-old kid named Seven. Left on the Bundy doorstep by Peg's cousins Zemus (Bobcat Goldthwait) and Ida Mae (Linda Blair), the obnoxious Seven appeals to no one but Peg (Katey Sagal), whose maternal instincts are somewhat belatedly awakened! ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: What I Did For Love
Al (Ed O'Neill) has been avoiding sex of late (so what else is new?), so Peggy (Katey Sagal) tries out a series of skimpy outfits which she's bought from Hemphley's lingerie store. This serves to arouse Al's appetite--not for Peggy, but for a thick, juicy steak. Meanwhile, 5-year-old Seven (Shane Sweet) continues to exhibit his "talent" with something resembling a funny stretch of dialogue (it's only a matter of time before the producers wise up and dump the kid!) ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Old Insurance Dodge
When his dilapidated Dodge is stolen, Al (Ed O'Neill) eagerly awaits an insurance settlement--which, thanks to the machinations of neighbor Jefferson (Ted McGinley), promises to be a lot more than he deserves. In the meantime, Al accepts a number of high-end "loaners", including a brand-new Lincoln Town Car. Elsewhere, Kelly (Christina Applegate). blithely misunderstands what "50 K" means in her search for suitable transportation. If you like "fat jokes" about female celebrities, you've come to the right place. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: 'Tis Time to Smell the Roses
Al (Ed O'Neill) receives a whole year's salary--all twelve thousand dollars--to accept early retirement from the shoe store. Alas, Al's retirement last only long enough for Peggy (Katey Sagal) to squander his money, forcing him to return to work as proprietor of Homeplate Athletic Shoes (with a staff named Habib--both of them). Charlene Tilton makes a cameo appearance as herself, selling the Amazing Abdomenizer door to door. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Till Death Do Us Part
Peg (Katey Sagal) tells Marcy (Amanda Bearse) in STRICTEST CONFIDENCE that Al (Ed O'Neill) isn't so hot in bed. Evidently misconstruing the concept of STRICTEST CONFIDENCE, Marcy proceeds to relay this news to everyone in the neighborhood and the outlying suburbs. Embarrassed, Al vows to get back into tip-top shape for his next boudoir appointment. This episode affords the viewer the first horrifying glimpse of the Bundy basement--not to mention some really "bad hair." ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Movie Show
Birthday girl Kelly (Christina Applegate) breaks a date with current boyfriend Frank (David Boreanaz) when her parents offer to treat her to the movies. As the lights in the theater dim, Kelly spots Frank--arm in arm with another woman! This is the episode in which the cast pokes derisive fun at the closing credits...with the biggest volley of vitriol reserved for the Columbia Pictures "Torch Lady". ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Unalful Entry
When a burglar (Randall "Tex" Cobb) invades the Bundy home in the dead of night, Al (Ed O'Neill) knocks the intruder cold. But comes the dawn, and it is Al who is brought up on charges when the burglar sues. The courtroom insanity that follows is succinctly summed up by Al's daughter Kelly (Christina Applegate): "The prostitution rest." This episode was spotlight in the Fox network "backstage" special A Day in the Life. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Peggy and the Pirates
In this elaborate musical fantasy, Peg (Katey Sagal) dreams that she is Princess Scarlet, the captive of fierce pirate Captain Courage, who bears a striking resemblance to Peg's husband Al (Ed O'Neill). As things develop, Captain Courage emerges the hero of the piece by rescuing Scarlet from rival pirate Rubio the Cruel (played by the Bundys' ex-neighbor Steve Rhoades [David Garrison]), so named for his murderous renditions of popular show tunes. Also appearing in Peg's dream are her children Bud (David Faustino) as hunchbacked first mate Fluvio and Kelly (Christina Applegate) as a very confused navigator, not to mention Peg's neighbors Jefferson D'Arcy (Ted McGinley) as Prince Paco and Marcy Darcy (Amanda Bearse) as a cabin...uh...boy. This episode marks the final appearance of child actor Shane Sweet as Seven (and none too soon, according to the series' fans!) ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Go for the Old
Thanks to another one of those computer glitches which breed like rabbits on Married. . .With Children, Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill) is deemed to be 65 years old--and gets a senior discount card as a result. Angry over this error, Al proceeds to "max out" the card, then participates in a no-holds-barred (and no-prisoners-taken) senior athletic competition. Be sure to stick around for the episode's classic closing narration. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: The Proposition
In this spoof of the theatrical feature Indecent Proposal, Wheel of Fortune's Vanna White guest stars as Al Bundy's former high school classmate Helen Granowitter. Now known to the World as zillionaire cosmetics executive "Coco", Helen is willing to pay Peg Bundy (Katey Sagal) half a million dollars in exchange for one night of unbridled passion with Al (Ed O'Neill)--which, as it turns out, includes eating cheese from his chin! This is the final episode of Married. . .With Children's seventh season. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Wedding Repercussions
In this sequel to the earlier episode The Wedding Show, the Bundys' cousin Jimmy (a young Abraham Benrubi) finds out that someone else slept with his wife Janie on their wedding day. In desperation, Jimmy appeals to Bud (David Faustino) to help him find the guilty party--little suspecting that Bud himself is the very guy he seeks. This episode offers yet another variation on the Bundy Family Credo: "Lie, Sell Shoes, and Lie". ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: You Can't Miss
Desperate for female companionship of any kind, Bud (David Faustino) shows up as a contestant on "You Can't Miss", a TV dating show for "beginners"--and needless to say, the results are astonishing. Meanwhile, oversleeping Kelly can't persuade anyone to tell her what day it is. Watch for a cameo appearance by Playboy centerfold Tiffany Sloan--and yes, that IS future political pundit Bill Maher as one of the "You Can't Miss" bachelors. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Wedding Show
A family wedding is in the offing, and each of the Bundys has a different reaction. Al (Ed O'Neill) daydreams about sexual dalliances while waiting for the service to commence; Peg (Katey Sagal) drives herself crazy choosing a proper outfit; Kelly talks the other bridesmaids into wearing matching black-leather minidresses; and Bud (David Faustino) has a prenuptial fling with bride-to-be Janie (Joey Lauren Adams). According to the network publicity, this is the episode in which Bud loses his virginity--a remarkable biological feat, inasmuch as he had already surrendered his innocence in the earlier episode "Kids! Wadaya Gonna Do?" ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: It Doesn't Get Any Better Than This
Much to his dismay, Al (Ed O'Neill) is joined on a fishing trip by Peg (Katey Sagal) and Marcy (Amanda Bearse). Not surprisingly, he ends up catching absolutely nothing except a lot of flak in his efforts to referee the girls' constant arguments. And back at home, Marcy's hubby Jefferson (Ted McGinley) blithely spends most of his wife's money, with the considerable aid of Al and Peg's children. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Heels on Wheels
Sick and tired of her dead-end job at the diner, Kelly (Christina Applegate) decides to kick up her high heels by buying a motorcycle. Both Peg (Katey Sagal) and Al (Ed O'Neill) are dead set against this purchase, but by episode's end both of Kelly's parents are straddling the cycle themselves--with disastrous results in Al's case. Need we add that this episode includes references to virtually every motorcycle flick ever made, including an excerpt from Brando's The Wild One? ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
Married... With Children: Mr. Empty Pants
In a VERY SPECIAL Valentine's Day show, Peg (Katey Sagal) achieves fame by publishing a cartoon of Al (Ed O'Neill) in a magazine. At first upset over being identified as "Mr. Empty Pants", Al is soon basking in the popularity commensurate with being an overnight sex symbol--and even agrees to pose in a Tarzan outfit on a bearskin rug. In addition to a cute reference to the "other" Fox network hit The Simpsons, this episode features a solo appearance by Swedish Bikini Team member Avalon Anders. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi
