Tap the icon of a house in the upper left corner in the HomeKit screen. Tap your Home, the one with the location arrow next to it. You will see a window that should display your home and your wife’s. Tap her icon to invite her to have access to your home accessories. The next screen will show how much access to give her. This is where you give remote control to accessories. All of your accessories should now appear in her rooms. If you’ve already done all of these steps and the garage opener doesn’t appear in hers, a reset to original factory settings is probably the best idea. You may also try the reverse, and add it to her accessories then see if it appears in yours after she invites you to have access. This opener is worth the effort. I believe it’s the only one exclusively for HomeKit, and it has worked well for me from the start. Your problem may also be the location of any hubs. We have one in the bedroom above the garage door. You would need a hub to use this accessory if you are away from home. We tested ours by opening and closing the garage door from a few miles away. Make sure you’ve updated your AppleTV and turned on HomeKit in the menu. Good luck.