3-Movie Laugh Pack: Bird on a Wire/Death Becomes Her/Housesitter [DVD]

Housesitter
In this romantic comedy from director Frank Oz, Steve Martin plays Boston architect Newton Davis, an impulsive dreamer who builds a bucolic dream home for his girlfriend (Dana Delany) as a means of proposing to her -- only she turns him down. Three months later, the depressed Davis meets a waitress who calls herself Gwen (Goldie Hawn), though pretending to be Hungarian proves to be only the first of her many deceptions. Davis has a one-night stand with Gwen during which he tells her the sad story of the house, which remains unoccupied just outside the city in his hometown of Dobbs Mills, because he can't bear to sell it. Following what seems to be a familiar path for this con artist, Gwen locates the house, figuring she can take up residence without anyone noticing. During a trip to the local grocery, she ends up telling the proprietor she's Davis' wife while trying to charge her purchases to his account. When she offers the same story to a local furniture dealer (Donald Moffat), unaware he's Davis' father, it triggers a string of fabrications in which the shocked Davis unwittingly becomes a co-conspirator. Seeing an opportunity of his own, Davis allows Gwen to stay in the house and agrees to go along with her story in hopes of winning back his jealous ex. Of course, this also necessitates outlandish lie upon outlandish lie, leaving the whole enterprise forever on the verge of collapse. ~ Derek Armstrong, Rovi

Bird on a Wire
The can't-miss teaming of Mel Gibson and Goldie Hawn is squandered on a clumsy, illogical romantic melodrama. Running across her old boyfriend Gibson at a Wisconsin gas station, Hawn is astounded that he seems not to recognize her. How could she have known that Gibson was put into the Witness Relocation Program after testifying against a homicidal mob boss (say, don't they usually alter your appearance when they put you in that program?) Curious over Gibson's furtive behavior, Hawn unknowingly sets herself up as a target for the bad guys. The whole affairs culminates in an after-hours showdown at a zoo (a plot device vastly improved upon in the 1996 Arnold Schwarzenegger vehicle Eraser). While Bird on a Wire admittedly has its moments of enjoyment, most of the film is on a par with Gibson's embarrassing, homophobic scene with a pair of epicine hairdressers. And whoever heard of the Chinatown section of Racine, Wisconsin? ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi

Death Becomes Her
High-concept director Robert Zemeckis applies his usual polish -- helped by an equally adept cast -- for this surprisingly gruesome and extremely funny black comedy. The film begins with narcissistic actress Madeline (Meryl Streep) stealing the latest in a series of potential fiancées, wimpy plastic surgeon Ernest (Bruce Willis), from her ex-best friend Helen (Goldie Hawn). Depressed and infuriated, Helen suffers a breakdown that lands her in a mental hospital -- in addition to a junk-food bender that seems to triple her weight. When Madeline crosses paths with Helen again many years later, she is horrified to discover her once-chunky rival looking younger, slimmer and more glamorous than ever before. Fearing that Helen will try to steal Ernest back -- and dreading the thought of not having a plastic surgeon at her beck and call -- Madeline solicits the supernatural services of an exotic New Age mystic (Isabella Rossellini), who sells her a potent youth elixir with the stipulation that she follow the dosage instructions to the letter... yeah, right. It appears that Helen owes her sexy comeback to the same magic formula, and the inevitable violent clash between the two well-dressed banshees leads to the realization that both women have become nearly impervious zombies, clawing at each other's throats long after the blood has run cold in their veins. Best remembered for Dick Smith's Oscar-winning makeup effects, which allow the rapidly-rotting undead femmes to toss off witty one-liners with ragged holes blasted through their bodies or spin their heads Exorcist-style. Not all the sight gags work, and Zemeckis' lighthearted treatment of such grotesque material tends to dull the satirical edge, but there are some truly inspired moments of dementia -- particularly a hilarious cameo from Sydney Pollack as a doctor who comes unglued while examining Streep (who has yet to realize she's dead). ~ Cavett Binion, Rovi