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Q: Does this heat the water to an agreeable temperature or is it a butt freezer?
A: I was concerned about this, too. It does NOT heat the water at all. However, it doesn't use a lot of water. Basically, unless you just ran the cold water tap in your bathroom, it's only going to use the water that's in the pipes within your home, so you're basically going to be using "room temperature" water. If you live in a cold climate, I can see how this might still give you pause. Fortunately for me, I live in the desert, and the water is basically never cold (the coldest the water ever gets is the water in my home's pipes that's been cooled by the A/C). In summary, I do not feel like I had an icicle shoved up my butt, but your mileage may very.
A: You dont, it is only connected using the cold water supply that goes to the holding tank. I though this was a potential issue, but it has not been, very easy to get used to and quicker than when you have to get the water temp just right on a regular bidet, because you can burn yourself.
A: I have noticed this, but so far it hasn't really been a big issue. I am nervous that the added pressure on the plastic frame of the bidet may break it, but so far it has been fine. I will install a different toilet seat next time to see if there's a difference, but I think this is probably a design flaw. Time will tell how big a flaw it really is.
A: Definitely not self-cleaning. You need to clean it manually - and carefully! It does not need to be removed to be cleaned for regular cleaning, but just like your toilet seat, you're going to want to take it off every so often for a thorough cleaning.